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[quote=Anonymous]I've already posted upthread, but the more I think about it, the worst thing my mother did was the secrecy and the mind games.  She never missed an opportunity to tear me down and no one was the wiser.  When I was young, she would often pull me aside into another room during holidays or family gatherings to beat me or tell me horrible stories or lies - basically anything to make sure I was miserable. I remember one Christmas her telling me that my aunt was going on and on about how ugly I was and making fun of me to others in attendance or the time she told me she "overheard" my grandparents saying how disappointed they were with me and wished for a different grandchild.  Looking back now I know these stories were fabricated, but at the time they just destroyed me.  My mother is a miserable person and if she can't be happy, then nobody can.

Just minutes before my baby shower she threw a major tantrum - crying, screaming, the works - because she was worried no one understood that this was *her* special day.  Of course she pulled it together as guests arrived and went on like nothing happened, but it definitely hurt my ability to enjoy what should have been my special day.  When DH and I got engaged my parents decided to host a small backyard bbq for family to celebrate.  Again, with guests beginning to arrive she pulled me aside and hissed in my ear "Don't expect a dime from me for this wedding, in fact, don't expect anything!"  She then went on to play happy host all afternoon just gushing about how excited she was for us and how she couldn't wait to start getting plans underway.... gag.

She also loves to lie and gaslight and then call or text me saying that she can't sleep, has a horrible headache, etc. because she's worried that I will betray her confidence.  Nope B, you're just worried that you're going to get caught.

I endured this behavior for 39 years before I found the strength to separate myself from her, and as a result, the majority of my extended family.  No one except for me and my father (who she also abuses) knows what she's really like behind closed doors.
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