Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I was working a 60 hour a week job and my husband was working a 40 hour a week job when we had a new baby.   Your husband isn't stepping up--he's doing the bare minimum.  A couple that works a combined 100 hour week doesn't have time for 3 hours of video games a night.  Entertainment consists of listing to a podcast while cleaning the kitchen and packing for the next day and doing laundry.

I'd suggest you consider coming home for family time post-daycare and before dinner.  That way you get family time and he gets support with the kid while you make dinner together.  Then you can sign back onto work while he does house stuff.  He shouldn't be too tired then since you'll have shared baby duty post-daycare.

Your husband needs to step up.  All of the commenters railing on you for working too much would never say that to a man. They may claim differently, but don't believe it.[/quote]

Op: I did that a few times and it did not work.

He ate dinner. Sent a few emails taking advantage that I was there and after the kid went to bed, he went on to relax while I did the remainder of the house chores. And I did not finish my work. [/quote]You need to have a conversation.  If he's supportive of you working a big job and bringing in a big paycheck, then he needs to step up and take on more household stuff.  If he's not willing to do so then you have your answer: he doesn't think you should have the big job.  The answer can't be that you work a 60 hour a week big job, spend time with the baby and your husband, and then still work another shift doing all the household stuff.  You won't survive it.

My deal with my husband was we "worked" the same hours.  Then we'd both crash and share a TV show together at the end of the night.  I'd do my real work while he did household work (from taxes to dishes to meal planning).  Unless was really busy, we tried to stop at the same time every night.  If he hadn't picked up more household stuff we would have never seen each other because I would have had to use any other time outside of work to do household stuff.

I did keep some chores (e.g., laundry, daycare arrangements, doctor appointments, etc) but tried to fit these into my work day or times when it wasn't taking time from my husband or child.  For instance, I'd call and make doctor appointments during my commute.[/quote]

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