Reply to If you're a family who expects your kids to eat what's put in front of them, do you make exceptions?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No. They've always eaten what we make/give them. Never had any food issues. I don't expect them to sample one of everything over holidays. They eat, and stop once they're full. [/quote]

My question is whether you're choosing what they eat at the holidays, or you're making an exception and allowing them to choose.

I'm asking because I have a family member who believes this -- that kids should eat what's put in front of them, which I understand in her home, but she's not an adventurous cook, so he kids are used to food being familiar.   As we plan Christmas dinner, she keeps objecting to foods because she thinks her kids won't like it and she feels like it's mean to expect them to have to eat food they don't like at Christmas.

I'm trying to find a middle ground between unhappy kids, and the rest of us not having to eat foods that are "little kid friendly".[/quote]
If you’re hosting the meal and cooking then ask your relative to bring something that her kids will eat. [/quote]

We'll have a ton of things her kids will eat.

The issue is that she thinks that we should only have things her kids will eat.  For example, there has been discussion of Beef Wellington.  Her kids don't like mushrooms. But we'll also have ham, which they like, and mac and cheese which they love and turkey which they're OK with.  So, the kids will not be protein deprived.  Same with every food group. [/quote]

Can you bill some things as the "main meal" and others as "bonus dishes" and convince her the kids only need to eat the main meal?[/quote]

I'm hesitant to change how I talk to my own kids.  So, for my kids, I don't want to tell them that the beef Wellington they helped prepare isn't part of the meal. If she wants to tell her kids that, I guess that's fine.  I feel like if the goal is to eventually end up with kids who like a variety of foods including beef Wellington, that's not really gonna help. I think it's also going to invite comments if my kids don't eat something that has been declared the "main meal".  Stating "look we have these delicious protein foods, you can pick one or more.  I'm going to have beef Wellington and some turkey." is more likely to work.

I wrote the OP thinking that perhaps there was some feeding expert who advises this style of feeding, and that someone would say "Oh, I feed my kids that way too.  I got it from X book" and I could go read X book, and then understand it and be able to problem solve.  It really does seem, however, that that is not the case.  Which makes me think that there is some dynamic I am overlooking.  Without understanding that, I don't think I'm going to get anywhere with thinking up a compromise.  [/quote]

I am the PP you are responding to.  There is no "real" solution here--your family member has a very restrictive way of feeding her kids that is not compatible with a holiday dinner for a large crowd.  Something has to give.  If I were hosting, I would just prepare the meal as usual, making sure there was something everybody could eat, and then let everyone sort out their unique kid issues on their own.  But, you asked for advice for how to accommodate this person without actually changing your menu.  You are not going to change her mind or her parenting style--no matter how many books you read--so the best you can do is (a) stand firm and deal with the blowback or (b) come up with some goofy surface fix, like I suggested, just to get through the day with minimal conflict.  [/quote]

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