Reply to Are sons missing a genetic gene on caring about their parents?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Are sons missing a genetic gene on caring about their parents?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think it's all socialization. My parents were very co-equal in terms of parenting and domestic tasks, and my dad helps to care for my mom's mother, who is in assisted living near them. My brother lives in the same city as my parents and sees them a few times a year. I live across the country so I don't see them often either, but normally we go out for 9 or 10 days once a year and my parents come visit us 2-3 times for a week each, so I spend a lot more time with them than my brother does. He just doesn't make it a priority.[/quote]
[/quote]

I agree - many parents can tell you raise their children with the same values, guidelines, obligations etc and they still turn out so differently ….

I raised our DS to help with chores and cook - actually told him that I did not want his future wife to blame me for raising a lazy sexist husband … I required much lower levels of chores and domestic work from DD as she had chronic illness … still DD shows much more interest in my well being … Love them both to bits but even without enforcing traditional gender roles, my DD is much more sensitive to checking on how I am doing.

It is very hard to undo thousands of years of hard wiring …[/quote]

You treated your children differently and now you suffer the consequences - poster with chronic, autoimmune disability.  [/quote]

Ok glad you had your inappropriate Gotcha moment … your comment makes no sense/ not logical in terms of this thread. The point was DD was not socialized to take on traditional gender roles - the opposite. She is still more caring. I am agreeing with PP that the gender gap is not just socialization.

My DIL is thrilled with DS who does chores and cooks.  Did not treat children differently by choice but by medical advice.

Recovering from your CFS may be better served by doing yoga or relaxation exercises  than taking cheap shots/ unprovoked attacks online … [/quote]

You just don't get it - your DS is obviously capable of being a great caretaker, hence why your DIL is happy. He decided not to be with you because he's probably resentful. [/quote]

Wtf? My DS is obviously  capable of being a great caretaker and I have always encouraged him to do so. He is not with me because he is a grown man. I would have failed miserably if he was living in our basement. Your logic skills are impaired.You are going off an irrelevant mean-spirited and pointless tangent.

The point of the argument is biology versus socialization. My son was socialized to be caring and he is. But my DD is more naturally caring. This is just my personal example to lend support to earlier PPs who contended that the gender gap is not all socialization or biological but a combination of both. How much is biology and how much is socialization, no one knows. Scientists have been arguing over this for decades.

You really need to focus on getting your health back on track. Making snide attacks that serve no purpose is not good for your health. 
[/quote]

It's funny how you bring up my health as your only very weak argument and how you backtrack from complaining about your son showing less interest in your well-being. I bet you used your daughter's illness, which I assume it's mental based on your comments about mine, as an excuse to treat your children differently. There is no such thing as "naturally more caring", it's all upbringing.  BTW, I'm 100% in remission due to medication, so yoga and putting up with gender stereotyping are not part of the treatment.  As someone who will take care of my (loving, fair, and involved) parents together with my sibling, I suggest calling your son and apologizing for putting a larger burden on him growing up. Ask him how to make things better now. Accept that you neglected him in caring for your special needs child and his detachment is most likely based on that and not some biological BS.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/band-brothers-and-sisters/201406/siblings-children-disabilities
https://consumer.healthday.com/mental-health-information-25/behavior-health-news-56/siblings-of-disabled-kids-may-show-emotional-effects-678727.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-favorite-child/201002/are-children-special-needs-favored[/quote]

Unlike you, I have provided a number studies confirming that the biology versus nature debate is ongoing with no consensus. Most gender experts agree that gender behavior differences are caused by a mixture of biology and socialization but the disagreement is in to what degree degree. To say gender differences are all socialization is not backed up by hard science or empirical evidence.

Unlike you, I did not launch an unprovoked pointless attack on a mother based on scant information. If you come after me for no reason, I will hit back.

Your crystal ball is not working. So far, you have been way off with all your assumptions as one would expect with an online stranger. You have little interest in discussing the actual topic being discussed but in making irrelevant attacks.

Ironically, have you ever considered that  you may be part of the socialization problem ? Assuming so much blame and shame on mothers you don’t know and have no idea how they raised their kids or what their relationships are like with their kids? My son and his wife would probably laugh hard at your bizarre opinions of me because they  are so off base. I was not complaining about my son but noting that there are differences that cannot be explained by upbringing. I am tight with DD also, but thanks for your unsolicited advice.

As I suspect you have an irony deficiency, this latter point will go over your head.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics