Reply to DD’s butt pinched in the pool

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and[b] it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences [/b]but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again. [/quote]

Consequences for what?   "The boys" didn't do anything wrong.  One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.[/quote]

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend. [/quote]

Maybe YOU should be banned.   You are no less culpable than they are.   Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.  [/quote]

Could you explain this comment please?  The PP was at the hotel pool when this girl was assaulted. You may be confused…[/quote]

PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned.   I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned.   Apparently EVERYONE should be banned.   Shut down the pool![/quote]

Oh, I get you now. You think the boys that contributed to this situation didn’t do anything wrong. Would you like to defend their actions to the eleven year old girl? Do you think she would feel safe with any of those boys knowing that they targeted her? What would you say to her?

[/quote]

There is no reason to believe they "contributed to it" any more than YOU (someone who was not there) did.     What will YOU  say to that 11 year old girl and YOUR contribution to it? You had just as much a role in this assault as they did, yet you want to hold children accountable and not yourself.  Disgusting.[/quote]

They were part of a group that targeted that girl. A younger smaller girl.

I noticed you have not said what you would say to her. Why is that?  [/quote]

Because I did not pinch OP's daughter's butt.   And unlike you, I'm not advocating that others who ALSO did NOT pinch the butt to be hit, screamed at, threatened,  arrested, or banned from pools.   The only person that should get in trouble is the one who actually did it.
[/quote]

I am not saying you did anything. I am asking how you would explain to an eleven yr old girl why the boys targeted her and why you think they didn’t do anything wrong despite the fact that she was embarrassed and felt unsafe enough to want to leave the pool after their treatment of her. You can’t even look her in face, can you?[/quote]

Of course I can't "look her in the face."  I have no idea who OP is, and most likely I have never and will never meet her daughter.

It is not evident that these boys even did "target her."   I think people that did nothing wrong have not done anything wrong. Random strangers who are minding their own business are not responsible for OP's daughter feeling "embarrassed and unsafe."

If you and I both happened to be in the same place today (like a grocery store or gas station) and I decided I felt "embarrassed" by your mere presence--does that give me the right to hit you?   For my family members to scream at you?  Unless YOU are willing to subject your self to physical assault and verbal abuse based on the "feelings" of random strangers you have no interaction with, you need to pipe down.[/quote]

But of course that’s not what happened. The boys who surrounded her did act. They were not minding their own business. They forced an interaction on her. She was not embarrassed or made to feel unsafe by their mere presence but rather by their own actions. What they did was wrong but you would have the girl believe it was ok.

When it comes to assault, people have been telling women to pipe down forever. Why do you do that?

[/quote]

This^^^^

It’s called “gang mentality “[/quote]

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