Reply to In LTR with affair partner; exh struggles

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you PP from the depths of my heart as a betrayed spouse for recognizing there is no justification for having an affair, ever, never, ever.  Cheating and lying never become ok and you are forrcing your spouse into continuing to have a relationship with you not knowing you are sleeping with someone else.  It is the worst imaginable pain.  Thank you for recognizing it and owning it.[/quote]

Yes. The big question is how to proceed with family life in the least damaging/most reparative way possible. How will you do this, OP?

How do other (broken due to divorce) families manage this? I know there are lots of others in this sad, dilapidated boat… [/quote]

1) Break up with the AP. As a PP said, just take this hit for your family, after screwing your family up so thoroughly

2) If you can't do that, just recognize that there is no happily ever after post-divorce family as long as you stay with the AP. Your kids will always resent you (and the AP) even if they pretend all is well.* You will never have that happy post-divorce family Thanksgiving or soccer tournament. It will always be terrible and awkward, for you and for your ex.

*Also note that your kids might try to put on a brave face in front of you because you are the emotionally unsafe parent who they believe could leave at any moment. They will let this all out with the safe parent that they trust will still be there tomorrow. [/quote]

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