Reply to In LTR with affair partner; exh struggles

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you PP from the depths of my heart as a betrayed spouse for recognizing there is no justification for having an affair, ever, never, ever.  Cheating and lying never become ok and you are forrcing your spouse into continuing to have a relationship with you not knowing you are sleeping with someone else.  It is the worst imaginable pain.  Thank you for recognizing it and owning it.[/quote]

Yes. The big question is how to proceed with family life in the least damaging/most reparative way possible. How will you do this, OP?

How do other (broken due to divorce) families manage this? I know there are lots of others in this sad, dilapidated boat… [/quote]

By giving up your AP.  That is really the only way forward.  Date someone else and the affair can recede into the past at least somewhat.  But if you are trying to maintain a happy co-parenting situation that includes your XH's backstabbing former friend, it can't.  [/quote]

NP here:
I 100% agree. Not only will the wounds never heal, but it may fester with your kids once they know that their step-dad is the long-running AP that broke up the family. THEY WILL FIND OUT.

There's tens of millions of single men in the U.S. The OP can find another guy to love. The fact that she went back to the AP after a multi-year break tells me that she's learned nothing about this horrible experience, she hasn't gone to therapy, etc.[/quote]

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