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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's is what the women partners told me before I became a partner: you can't be both. If you want to stay in the practice and succeed, delegate, delegate, delegate, both at home and at work, but mostly at home. You need back up plans for your back up plans. Some had various combinations of the following: live in parents, nannies, au pairs, SAH or flexible spouses, always full child care coverage options (not always needed, but always available) from 7-10 pm, plus weekends; cleaners; laundry service; food delivery, meal prep (several had home chefs or full service housekeeping); tutors; sometimes drivers for the kids.[/quote]

I would have walked out the door right then and there.

When are you delusional women going to realize that you are being asked to "delegate out" the very fabric of your lives?[/quote]

Well, I wouldn't put it like that, but I had the same reaction.  Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, drop-off/pick-up, working with your kids on schoolwork - aren't all those things just....life?  What is it teaching your kids when you pay people to do everything for you?  Doing many of these tasks is a huge part of being and growing together and developing as a family.  Some of my family's best conversations are during "chore" times, not during yay! fun! time!  [/quote]

I'm teaching them that if they get a good job that allows the extra cash for it that they can make the decision to outsource things that are less of a good use of their time.  Honestly, my MIL was a stay-at-home mom who loves taking care of "her boys" and did all that for them and my FIL.  You know what "her boys" have learned?  That a woman will take care of all that for them.  (My husband outgrew it before we met, my BIL and FIL still have not.)  I was raised by a working mom, and I was doing laundry and cooking meals by middle school.  Guess which one of us didn't dye their clothing pink by not knowing to sort red from whites?  It wasn't me.

Household chores are not the "very fabric of [my life]" - god, what a dull existence you must have to think THAT'S what's important.  Cleaning is boring, laundry is easy, cooking is my husband's thing, and we share helping with schoolwork, except that they will listen to the math tutor better than either of us.  As soon as the pandemic is over, we're hiring a cleaning person with absolutely no apologies or concerns that I'm setting a bad example for my kids.  We cook together for fun, they have chores/responsibilities around the house, and they're expected to help when asked.  Life requires that you get your stuff done; it does not preclude you from paying others to take on the tasks you're not fulfilled by if you can afford it.[/quote]

Exactly. I encourage women to pursue high paying careers and outsource things they don’t want to do, which will ultimately lead to more time with their kids and also professional satisfaction. I thought about SAHM or a lower wage career in social work, buying into the idea that I’d obviously want to be the caretaker of my home as a women (from an evangelical household). I decided to pursue medicine instead and I’m perfectly happy with the balance and the income that allows me to get away from doing household duties I don’t personally want to do. Lots of girls in my Med school class had doctor moms and are so freaking proud of them- enough to pursue the same career.[/quote]

+1  Well said.  [/quote]

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