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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like you want to be handed a medal for having your nieces and showing them, gasp, a college. My 12yo would not more be interested in touring a college than she would be in shooting a hole in her head.  I feel you are out of touch with this age demographic AND also mag have some issues/problems with this family you are not getting into here, like you expected them to treat you as a hero for taking them to a Tweetsie Railroad type of place and a college?  Yeah, tweens are way more complicated and HONEST than toddlers and will call it as they see it.[/quote]

I could totally see them getting flat out offended by the college tour. [/quote]

Op here. Ok so more background-DH and I both work at the university and it’s one of the most beautiful campuses I’ve ever seen.

What we did was talk about what each of them wanted to be when they grow up. One said teacher, the other said flight attendant, the other said a nanny. We tried to brainstorm other ideas/thoughts and then walked to the respective colleges to do pics in front of them, thinking someday maybe they would go to this university and that’s where they would study. So we took pics in front of the college of education for the one that wanted to be a teacher, etc.

They did not know what a university is, or what college is, or even when you go there. And then they said they can’t go to college because they can’t afford it. We were telling them yes you can!! There are scholarships, financial aid, etc. and we told them we would help them apply and figure it all out.

I guess I didn’t expect this would be thrilling but I feel like it’s important. I can’t remember when I knew about college but it was definitely by age 12......[/quote]

Yikes.  OP, I know you think you were doing the right thing but in one fell swoop you let your (negative) judgement about them and their thoughts/dreams come shining through.  No wonder they were tweening it up with you.  No one likes to feel judged.  You had the right intentions but you went about it completely the wrong way.  I am the mom of middle school girls and I am a middle school teacher btw.[/quote]

Agreed, OP this was over the top, especially since it was a forced outing[/quote]

Completely disagree.  IF they do not have any support around pursuing college you are letting them know that you are a person in their lives that is available and interested in that goal for them should they want it.  I would continue to give them this message throughout their teens.[/quote]

At 9/10/12? And walking through a college and buying shirts for a photo op? No, that’s over the top[/quote]

I get the gesture but this isn’t the Big Brother/Big Sister Program. No one likes to feel like they need someone to swoop in and “rescue” them from their circumstances. [/quote]

How is auntie being interested in their thoughts about the future and even little conversations about college "swooping in to rescue them from circumstances"  those are entirely normal conversations to have with nieces and nephews in my extended family.  They normally last all of 5 minutes like most other tween conversations.[/quote]

This wasn’t 5 minutes of conversation. Sounds more like 90 minutes.

I think complaining about walking was their way of expressing that they didn’t want to do the activity. [/quote]

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