Reply to Drafted letter to other woman’s husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I will tell you this. I had a DH who cheated for years and I didn't know. One friend told me about one affair and I was completely devastated. Another told me about the others once we had split up. I was devastated again and it completely crushed my confidence in myself for YEARS.

I didn't need to know about all the details, I didn't benefit at all.

Please do not send a letter to this poor man.[/quote]

You do recognize that what crushed you is the cheating not the telling about the cheating, right?

You would have been much better off if your friends had told you about all the affairs and all the details in the beginning.  If I had a friend who knew all that and didn't tell me, it would be a devastating betrayal of our friendship.  My friends respect my right to truth and our friendships are based on honesty.  My friends know me well enough that they know I want to live in truth, not in some kind of Potemkin village of a marriage.

The guiding principle in any infidelity is truth and sunshine.  An affair victim deserves the truth from all.  Sunshine is the best disinfectant. [/quote]

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