Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you assume he doesn't already know?

She’s had multiple and is a pathological, manipulative liar. He’s clueless. She plans to divorce him and make him think it’s his fault.

Not going to an overly dramatic place here but if she truly is pathological then please just keep more of an open eye than you might have otherwise. Sometimes unhinged people will do some pretty crazy stuff. If she has no regard for your health and well being (which it sounds like she doesn't) she may try to retaliate. Calling your DH's employer and trying to cause trouble is what sprang to mind. Not saying don't send the letter, saying please look out for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants out of her marriage which is why she is taking risks like screwing men in their own home. You would be helping her cause by sending the letter.

This. The woman is broken. She’s got pathologies a letter to the husband will never address.

I disagree. She might get help once caught but there is no chance she is getting help if she doesn’t get caught.

Anonymous wrote:OP I will tell you this. I had a DH who cheated for years and I didn't know. One friend told me about one affair and I was completely devastated. Another told me about the others once we had split up. I was devastated again and it completely crushed my confidence in myself for YEARS.

I didn't need to know about all the details, I didn't benefit at all.

Please do not send a letter to this poor man.

You do recognize that what crushed you is the cheating not the telling about the cheating, right?

You would have been much better off if your friends had told you about all the affairs and all the details in the beginning. If I had a friend who knew all that and didn't tell me, it would be a devastating betrayal of our friendship. My friends respect my right to truth and our friendships are based on honesty. My friends know me well enough that they know I want to live in truth, not in some kind of Potemkin village of a marriage.

The guiding principle in any infidelity is truth and sunshine. An affair victim deserves the truth from all. Sunshine is the best disinfectant.

Anonymous wrote:She wants out of her marriage which is why she is taking risks like screwing men in their own home. You would be helping her cause by sending the letter.

This. The woman is broken. She’s got pathologies a letter to the husband will never address.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent the email.

I said in the email I would prefer he not respond but I thought he should know.

I really did not GAF if he was beating her or this would make her life miserable. If she was really in danger, leave.

I didn't marry you, I don't have to care about your needs or your life, I made no commitment to you.... just like you did not marry me and you do not care about me, my needs and my life.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with the pain of this OP. My heart goes out to you and I wish you well.

I'm not dealing with pain, not sure where you got that. I deal with truth, I believe in radical honesty (google it). I think he deserves to know, so I told him. It's as simple as that. I was not mad or bitter or "in pain" (Im not OP).

Lying is very unhealthy for people, gaslighting etc, he deserves the truth about his life.

I'm PP and you don't sound like someone who is not in pain to me but what do I know. I apologize for saying something you felt was out of line. I was trying to be nice. I will leave it alone.

Of course she's in pain. Hurting people hurt people, which is the theme of this entire thread.

I didn't hurt anyone. I just informed the H of his own truth. Also, I think anybody (especially women) in an affair need serious therapy. I probably helped her become the person she can be instead of the horror show she had become.[b]

Horror show indeed. Serious therapy is needed for screwing strangers in your family home...when teens or husband could come home early. Screws are loose in your head. That’s looking to get caught or blatant acting out against your spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent the email.

I said in the email I would prefer he not respond but I thought he should know.

I really did not GAF if he was beating her or this would make her life miserable. If she was really in danger, leave.

I didn't marry you, I don't have to care about your needs or your life, I made no commitment to you.... just like you did not marry me and you do not care about me, my needs and my life.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with the pain of this OP. My heart goes out to you and I wish you well.

I'm not dealing with pain, not sure where you got that. I deal with truth, I believe in radical honesty (google it). I think he deserves to know, so I told him. It's as simple as that. I was not mad or bitter or "in pain" (Im not OP).

Lying is very unhealthy for people, gaslighting etc, he deserves the truth about his life.

I'm PP and you don't sound like someone who is not in pain to me but what do I know. I apologize for saying something you felt was out of line. I was trying to be nice. I will leave it alone.

Of course she's in pain. Hurting people hurt people, which is the theme of this entire thread.

I didn't hurt anyone. I just informed the H of his own truth. Also, I think anybody (especially women) in an affair need serious therapy. I probably helped her become the person she can be instead of the horror show she had become.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What difference does it make how you mail it? If you gonna do it then send the shit I doubt the recipient will care if it’s certified or not.

I think the point is that certified mail requires a signature of the recipient so OP will know who signed for it. They are hoping it is OW's husband but it could just as easily be OW.

So if the delivery of the news is if such importance why it pick up the phone or drive by and deliver the news in person?
Punk move mailing a letter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent the email.

I said in the email I would prefer he not respond but I thought he should know.

I really did not GAF if he was beating her or this would make her life miserable. If she was really in danger, leave.

I didn't marry you, I don't have to care about your needs or your life, I made no commitment to you.... just like you did not marry me and you do not care about me, my needs and my life.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with the pain of this OP. My heart goes out to you and I wish you well.

I'm not dealing with pain, not sure where you got that. I deal with truth, I believe in radical honesty (google it). I think he deserves to know, so I told him. It's as simple as that. I was not mad or bitter or "in pain" (Im not OP).

Lying is very unhealthy for people, gaslighting etc, he deserves the truth about his life.

I'm PP and you don't sound like someone who is not in pain to me but what do I know. I apologize for saying something you felt was out of line. I was trying to be nice. I will leave it alone.

I was with her until she said she isn’t in pain. That’s just weird all around.

Because it was like "oh that is what is going on"... it was more enlightening than painful. Also, I have the means to leave so I was not stuck like most people.

Also I'm not delusional and think.. oh I did something wrong in the marriage and I need to fix myself. I was like, you broke the vase not me, it's in shards you can't put it back together... good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent the email.

I said in the email I would prefer he not respond but I thought he should know.

I really did not GAF if he was beating her or this would make her life miserable. If she was really in danger, leave.

I didn't marry you, I don't have to care about your needs or your life, I made no commitment to you.... just like you did not marry me and you do not care about me, my needs and my life.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with the pain of this OP. My heart goes out to you and I wish you well.

I'm not dealing with pain, not sure where you got that. I deal with truth, I believe in radical honesty (google it). I think he deserves to know, so I told him. It's as simple as that. I was not mad or bitter or "in pain" (Im not OP).

Lying is very unhealthy for people, gaslighting etc, he deserves the truth about his life.

I'm PP and you don't sound like someone who is not in pain to me but what do I know. I apologize for saying something you felt was out of line. I was trying to be nice. I will leave it alone.

Of course she's in pain. Hurting people hurt people, which is the theme of this entire thread.

^ that wasn’t OP. That was a different pp. You missed the (not OP) in quotes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent the email.

I said in the email I would prefer he not respond but I thought he should know.

I really did not GAF if he was beating her or this would make her life miserable. If she was really in danger, leave.

I didn't marry you, I don't have to care about your needs or your life, I made no commitment to you.... just like you did not marry me and you do not care about me, my needs and my life.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with the pain of this OP. My heart goes out to you and I wish you well.

I'm not dealing with pain, not sure where you got that. I deal with truth, I believe in radical honesty (google it). I think he deserves to know, so I told him. It's as simple as that. I was not mad or bitter or "in pain" (Im not OP).

Lying is very unhealthy for people, gaslighting etc, he deserves the truth about his life.

I'm PP and you don't sound like someone who is not in pain to me but what do I know. I apologize for saying something you felt was out of line. I was trying to be nice. I will leave it alone.

I was with her until she said she isn’t in pain. That’s just weird all around.

She wants out of her marriage which is why she is taking risks like screwing men in their own home. You would be helping her cause by sending the letter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Email. cc the other woman.

I did it. It was so GD satisfying.

I like that. Do it on her birthday (very easy to find on the Internet)

Every birthday she can relive the pain of discovery. Great idea. She ruined your life and she will think about it forever. She can have every one of her future birthdays reliving this horror.

You crazies really do not understand how the other side lives, feels, and carries on in life.

Enjoy your bitterness and thinking you delivered humble pie. Trust me, this letter will do nothing to the OW, her husband, or her marriage. Her marriage is not yours. If she had shame and horror over cheating she wouldn't have done it in the first place.

Agree. Especially doing it in her own house! That’s a high level of “I don’t give a shit about my kids or husband”...I’ll even bring strangers in the house to screw.

I don’t think she has the moral capacity or self insight to even remotely feel the pain of somebody that truly and unconditionally loves their spouse and kids. It’s why she thinks it’s no big deal.

Yes. OW will never get it. She is too self deluded and selfish. It's the 'well if I didn't run your kid over drunk in my car...it just would have been somebody else' type mentality. Not at all taking part of the responsibility they deserve. Yes- it could have been anyone-but it was you and you. A letter may get her husband to be upset and see the light, but she will still blame her husband for her cheating---or even your spouse. With people like this---they are blameless in life. They are perpetually the victim and have no accountability for anything in life. It's also why they remain miserable and passive aggressive and nasty.

Anonymous wrote:What difference does it make how you mail it? If you gonna do it then send the shit I doubt the recipient will care if it’s certified or not.

I think the point is that certified mail requires a signature of the recipient so OP will know who signed for it. They are hoping it is OW's husband but it could just as easily be OW.

What difference does it make how you mail it? If you gonna do it then send the shit I doubt the recipient will care if it’s certified or not.