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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "SAHMS getting a job after divorce"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ so many of us working moms do all of those SAHM chores as well—the meals, school volunteering, grocery shopping and shuttling and many of the spouses pitch in as well. That argument never resonated with me. I think many SAHMs have serious time management issues coupled with inherent laziness—especially the ones that never go back to work.[/quote] This kind of drives me crazy. Very likely you either don't do it, or you have real help. If you are a SAHM with kid in school, that's about 30 hours a week on your own. preparing meals- 3-5 hours/wk school volunteering - 2-3 hours/wk other volunteering - 2-3 hours/wk grocery shopping - 1-2 hours/wk general cleaning the house - 3-5 hours/wk shuttling kids around to doctor/dentist/orthodontist or going to school play etc - 2-3 hours/wk general errands (new clothes, running to target, post office, etc) - 1-2 hours/wk laundry - 2-3 hours/wk yard work (mowing, planting flowers, shoveling snow, etc) - 2-3 hours/wk general paperwork, managing finances - 1-2 hours/wk organizing/decorating house (moving out seasonal clothing, getting rid of junk, painting, etc) - 2-4 hours/wk exercise - 3-5 hours/wk So, that's 24-40 hours/wk that is mostly outside of actual childcare (if you take out exercise it's 21-35 hours/wk). If you are doing this while working, then either your entire evenings and much of your weekends are devoted to these things, you aren't actually getting some things done, or you have someone else (spouse, housekeeper, parent, etc) who is doing a lot of it for you. [/quote] Your proving prior poster’s point. Time management issues. Exercise and volunteering are both optional and not SAHP specific so there is 8-12 hours a week of time. Laundry - 2-3 hours/wk- Do you stare at the machine while it’s running? It takes two minutes to load and switch to the dryer. Folding is ten minutes max per load and cut it down by having the kids do their own. Grocery Shopping- 1-2 hours/wk - order it online and delivered. List auto populated with frequent items and new list is maximum ten minutes to add items Meal Prep- 3-5 hrs - make quicker 30 min meals. General Errands- 2-3 hours - don’t need new clothes or to go to Target, takes 5 mins to order necessary items online. I go to the post office maybe 3x a year. General House keeping- 3-5 hours - most SAHPs I know have but-weekly housekeepers, if your scrubbing floors the 1-2 hours a week sounds right. Paperwork- 1-2 hours...bills are largely on autopay. There are school forms that every parent working or not takes 30 Seconds to fill out. Are you reading SEC filings for your day trading business? Yard Work- 2-3 hrs a week - we don’t believe you spend hours shoveling snow in the winter. Organizing - 2-4 hours a week- no way, seasonal clothes is 2-3 hours a year and touch up paint the same and how does organizing differ from general cleaning that you apparently spend 5 hours a week on Shuttling kids - those appointments are 2x a year unless one of your DCs are chronically ill. All parents go to the school play ...2x A year at most. Same with drop off ...it’s not a SAHP exclusive. [/quote] Why would other people's life choices bother you? That's what I find strange, and you dwelling on it.[/quote] I don’t care what people choose to do but when someone contends they are too busy with their SAHM responsibilities to work based on an inflated schedule of responsibilities then they invite responses pointing out the holes in this belief.[/quote] Of course you don't have to do any of it, and of course not only SAHM's do it. As I said in the previous post, you can a) not actually do it b) spend all of your free time doing it c) have help from your spouse/mom/housekeeper/nanny in getting it done But the numbers really aren't that inflated. And I didn't say that I wasn't too busy to work, only that I am not inherently lazy or poor at time management. Volunteering at the school- if you do library duty or lunch duty it's usually 2 hours/wk or 4 hours every other week. If you are on the PTA, there is usually a monthly meeting and some other responsibility. Other volunteering - most SAHMs do something. I would say 1/2 day every other week is pretty average. Laundry - No. I do not stare at the machine. It takes 2 minutes to sort and put it in the machine, 10 minutes to fold it, and 3 minutes to put it away (longer to oversee kids putting it away). That's 15 minutes/load x 10 loads/wk (2 for each adult, 1 for each of four kids, a load of towels, and a load of sheets) = 2.5 hours/wk. Grocery Shopping- 10 minutes to add items, 10 minutes to clean out your fridge, 10 minutes to put stuff away. That's at least 30 minutes. I said 1 hour. You win by getting your groceries delivered. (although I would argue that's getting someone else to do it) Meal Prep- 30 minute meals x 7 days/wk is 3.5 hours. Math. General Errands- I don't know why you never need clothes or spend more than 5 minutes on anything. This week we had a child with a birthday, so I purchased presents. Next week is Father's Day. In May we were doing a lot of gardening and had to go to the hardware store. Kids needed summer clothes, so we went through what fit and ordered more. I don't know. None of these things takes forever, but I would say if you add it up 2 hours/wk seems fair. General House keeping- Most SAHPs do not have weekly housekeepers. And it takes more than 1 hour a week to clean a house. Paperwork- I do not have a day trading business. And I also have bills on autopay. I guess the difference is that I check to see what they are. Once a month, I update a spreadsheet of our income and expenses for the month so that we can see where money is coming in and where it's going. We use it to budget for bigger expenses. Quarterly, I go over our retirement accounts. This takes me roughly 4 hours (or 1 hour/wk), although I am sure that you could do it in 5 seconds. Then there are also camp forms, school paperwork, random bills that need to be paid by check, the birthday card for Great Aunt Rose, etc. That's why I said 1-2 hours/wk. Yard Work- Sure. There isn't as much in the winter, but there is some. And for every month that I don't do much yardwork, there is probably a day that I spend 8 hours planting, putting down mulch, cleaning beds, raking up leaves, etc. I think it evens out to 2-3 hours/wk. Organizing/decorating the house- I always just feel like something needs done. Last week, my daughter was waking up early because she couldn't sleep. So, we took down the old blinds and put up a new curtain rod and black out shades. That took about 2 hours. Some weeks maybe there is nothing, but some weeks I might decide to declutter the entire house, or pull down the ugly old wallpaper in the playroom, so there is quite a bit. Shuttling kids - I have to say that I never noticed this until I started staying at home. Partly because I just didn't actually do most of it. But Dentist twice a year, orthodontist whenever, doctor once a year (more if sick), school stuff all SAH parents are expected to go to several times a year multiplied by whatever number of kids you have = quite a bit of time. [/quote]
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