Reply to Why are dating apps filled with MC or LMC guys?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I'm a man.

Here are the things from your list about positives about yourself that no successful UMC man cares about (and maybe even no man at all cares about):
- I am a good and kind sister, daughter
- I am passionate about my work and making the world a better place 
- I was a live-in nanny for a few years
- I completed prestigious unpaid internships
- I know how to host dinner parties
- I am goal oriented

Here are things a man might care about from your list:
- clear eyed about what I want (men can't stand wishy washy behavior)
- I am mature, thoughtful and silly and goofy. (always good to have fun)
- am a wonderful cook (semi-bonus)
- I waited until marriage to have sex at 29 (shows you didn't piss away your 20s boozing and sleeping around, a strong negative for wife material)
- I am cultured and well traveled. (potential positive but certainly not necessary)

Here are things a man definitely cares about:
- I also have a high sex drive and want it at least once a day.

You've got some positives but it's worth noting that you listed an equal number of things that a man most likely doesn't care about at all as your marketable positives. Does it mean you are overperceiving your value by 50%? You be the judge.
[/quote]

Another man here, and I agree with this. I also chuckle at posters recommending OP meet men at book clubs. I could never imagine one of my guy friends saying "Hey, let's go to the book club on Friday!" or church. There are single men in church, but all the ones I've come into contact with there are weirdos.

The issue is you're looking for:
a) what everyone else is looking for
and
b) there just aren't that many of them

For example, let's take your requirement that they be college-educated. Not much of an ask, right? Well most universities at undergrad-level are 60-65% female, so just out of the gate, there's 3 women for every 2 men graduating. Then you want a person who is UMC, so by definition that includes the majority of people (as they are MC) and everyone below them too.

Fine.. you want what you want. Just realize it's not easy to find.

As to where to look, among all my friends who are 30s and 40s men and UMC to UC, none of them use the dating apps you mention. Some are on sugar dating sites (the only sites out there where women outnumber men), and others meet socially. These days, if you want to meet someone socially, you'll need to make the first move and be very clear about it (maybe even asking the person out). A lot of men I know are wary at doing this at networking/work events for fear of the metoo stuff. At a purely social event, it's less of a concern, but just realize this if it's a professional event.[/quote]

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