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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well.........my mom passed away this week.  I'm planning the service.  Life is a funny thing.  Her passing has made me reflect on whether the DNA test was necessary.  Then I remembered that I was doing it to verify my ancestry, I had no idea what I would find would change my life.  I hope that I helped mom find peace in that the situation was her 52 years ago, not who she is now. We all make mistakes.  I found an email that I had sent after she finally told me.  In it, I told her to be assured that I am not angry, hold no judgement and that God was in control the whole time.

It has been a bittersweet week.  She was in pain, frail, down to 70 pounds at one point. :(   I miss her horribly yet I'm glad she is out of pain. I think it's ok to be a little selfish :)    I have to find a new normal where I can talk about my birth father and his family without concern, where life without my dad, and now my mom, is ok to live.  The day after her passing, I started writing a song called, "Until Then."  When she was taking me to preschool, I was upset because I didn't want her to go.  I said, "Mommy, no, you can't say goodbye.  I want you here."  She replied that I will learn so much and make great friends, instead of saying goodbye, what don't we say, "Until Then."  Here's the chorus, please let me know what you think!

Until Then - LH
Copyright 2020

and Momma please don't go
and we miss you so much and yet we know 
you're in a place where there is no pain
and joy fills............. your heart again
Momma, I'm glad you don't hurt anymore.

My heart says "Momma, it's ok if you go.
We know it's not forever goodbye
even though it makes us cry,
Momma let's say it once again
......until then.[/quote]

This is beautiful![/quote]

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