Anonymous wrote:Well.........my mom passed away this week. I'm planning the service. Life is a funny thing. Her passing has made me reflect on whether the DNA test was necessary. Then I remembered that I was doing it to verify my ancestry, I had no idea what I would find would change my life. I hope that I helped mom find peace in that the situation was her 52 years ago, not who she is now. We all make mistakes. I found an email that I had sent after she finally told me. In it, I told her to be assured that I am not angry, hold no judgement and that God was in control the whole time.

It has been a bittersweet week. She was in pain, frail, down to 70 pounds at one point. I miss her horribly yet I'm glad she is out of pain. I think it's ok to be a little selfish I have to find a new normal where I can talk about my birth father and his family without concern, where life without my dad, and now my mom, is ok to live. The day after her passing, I started writing a song called, "Until Then." When she was taking me to preschool, I was upset because I didn't want her to go. I said, "Mommy, no, you can't say goodbye. I want you here." She replied that I will learn so much and make great friends, instead of saying goodbye, what don't we say, "Until Then." Here's the chorus, please let me know what you think!


Until Then - LH
Copyright 2020

and Momma please don't go
and we miss you so much and yet we know
you're in a place where there is no pain
and joy fills............. your heart again
Momma, I'm glad you don't hurt anymore.

My heart says "Momma, it's ok if you go.
We know it's not forever goodbye
even though it makes us cry,
Momma let's say it once again
......until then.

Anonymous wrote:Well, I did a DNA test just to prove my ancestry. I have been told numerous things about my ancestors but wanted to figure it all for sure. My father also thought it would be fun to do the DNA test. He ordered his from the same online service that I did and the results were received about a month apart. My step mom actually set up his account and took care of sending the test as my father is very ill and is now on hospice. When his test showed up as received, I was so excited. I scrolled through his test, had my step mom share his ancestry on the account with my account. It is there I realized that I have no overlapping DNA with my dad. HOW can that be? There must be a mistake. Stupid company. Stupid test. Or.........he's not my birth father? Well, I was hundred of miles away at a conference when I found out what had to be the truth. I didn't wait, I called my mom and asked how this could be. She mumbled some silly response like, "Hmmm, might want to call the company to see where they made the mistake."

I had to focus on my conference, which was quite difficult. My husband and I had just been married a few weeks when I found out, so we were both at this conference. When we returned home, I waited for my mom to talk to me about it. 2 agonizing weeks. I finally called and just said I need to know. She said she was horrified when I called her and that it is possible because she was "at a party" where a guy gave her a couple of drinks and she woke up in a motel room. I had a feeling that wasn't the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I got a first name and that's all. I spent many many months researching for my birth father. Meanwhile, my step mom and I agreed not to tell my father as he is in hospice and we didn't want this to be the last thing on his mind, it would break his heart as I'm his only girl. So he will never know.

Ahh what this boils down to bottom line is white women are most whore ish out of everyone

After some months, I kind of gave up. I was researching my moms family and giving her reports of different things that I found. She miraculously remembered the last name and occupation of my birth father. Not only that, even how many sons he had. So after maybe a month of research after being told a name, I found the only one that was even close to making sense. Had the right first and middle names, but was CEO of a different industry business. I called and left a message. The man called me back but sounded far too young to be my birth father. So I explained that I was looking for someone that may have known my parents and that he had the same name. I asked if he was ever in the occupation that I knew my birth father to be in. He responded with, "No, but my father was that, but he has a different first name." I asked if he had 4 sons, his oldest being 14 in 1966. That was confirmed. I asked about a nickname that I knew. That was confirmed. He identified with looking like a certain celebrity, which was confirmed. At that point, I stated that I believe then that this man is my father, which makes you, sir, my brother. There was a bit of silence, then he said, "Well, I'll tell you. As you know, there's 4 of us boys. We always wanted a sister. I'll tell you what, if I really have a sister, I would want to get to know her!" I sighed a sigh of relief as there has been numerous blogs of people making the same search and being turned away angrily. That was in March of 2017. It is now July and in less than 2 weeks, I am flying down to their family reunion with my daughter. My father and their mother will never know as their mother is also struggling with health. I have gotten to know 3 of the 4 brothers and most of their kids, who range from a little older than my daughter to 8 years younger than me. They have loved and welcomed us into their family.

I have a large degree of anticipation and excitement as well as a bit of nervousness. What gifts should I give to 4 brothers that I never knew? Do I take something for the nieces and nephews? I hope they like me, etc etc etc. I try very hard not to romanticize this whole situation. Yet, when I consider the fact that my brothers say things like, "I want to hug you and never let you go. I cannot wait to see you, " I am reminded that this is good. Very, very good indeed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heading to the annual family reunion this week mid-week. I'm excited to see all of them again!

Have fun. Glad you are keeping the ties up.

Anonymous wrote:Heading to the annual family reunion this week mid-week. I'm excited to see all of them again!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having just red the OP, I am wondering what you got your new family as a welcome present. Did you buy everyone DNA tests?

I brought chocolate and wine from my state, other state memorabilia and cooked a curry meal My daughter is coming home today from being there 2 weeks. I missed her but it sounds like she had an amazing time. She loves that side of the family as well and has had the opportunity to get to know them so much more this trip. Peace all.

Anonymous wrote:Having just red the OP, I am wondering what you got your new family as a welcome present. Did you buy everyone DNA tests?

Anonymous wrote:OP, how are you going to sustain not telling your siblings on your mom's side about your siblings on your birth father's side? Won't they find out at some point?

Anonymous wrote:My mom's friend did the DNA test too and found a long lost half sibling she never knew about. They were able to piece together the crazy events involving their shared father. He was married, wife #1 didn't want kids, so they divorced. Right before they divorced she got pregnant. She didn't tell him, and gave the girl up for adoption. Then he married wife #2, mother of my moms friend. The kids all got together last year (parents are all dead).

So yeah, if you get a test done be prepared for uncovering a lot of skeletons.