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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, I'm re-writing this for you.

Well, I can try real hard and never [make] COACH a Premier League Team.

Start with trying TO COACH. Start with asking the [coach] PLAYER TO MAKE [what] improvements [need to be made] and EXPLAIN how to go about improving them.

Start with being an adult and talking to the PLAYER AND THE PARENTS [other adult] INSTEAD OF BENCHING KIDS. At U10 this is not on your child to do but ON THE COACH TO TALK TO YOUR PLAYER AND you [ need to act on their behalf].

Perhaps not playing your kid in a situation that they are in over their head is a way the coach is trying keep them competitive. Perhaps the coach has asked your kid to go in but your kid doesn't like the position so they say no. This does happen and especially at this age, SO IF THAT IS HAPPENING, THE COACH SHOULD TELL THE PARENTS. The kid is getting 50% of the game which is the minimum in Rec and is a reasonable expectation for playing time. COACHES SHOULD TEACH EACH PLAYER [your kid] to do what it takes to stay on the field once there. It is a travel sport and PARENTS ARE PAYING THE COACH AND CLUB TO DO THESE THINGS.  [if you think this sucks at U10 you are going to be in for a rough ride in a couple of years when winning does matter. Wait till your kid sits an entire game in High School.]

INSTEAD OF BLAMING PARENTS OR CHILDREN FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING, COACHES SHOULD COMMUNICATE. [Get over it or get better. One last time, your options are:]
1. Talk to the [coach] PLAYER AND/OR PARENTS and ENCOURAGE THE PLAYER TO work on needed areas. (This will not be an instant solution as improvement is never instant and other kids are working to get better as well.)
2. IF THE COACH DETERMINES THAT THE PLAYER IS NOT AT THE RIGHT LEVEL FOR THE TEAM, HELP THE FAMILY Find a team at a more appropriate level [ for your kid].
[3. Play rec.]

Remember, it is a team sport and the only way a team improves and gets better is if COACHES CARE ABOUT ALL PLAYERS AND HELP all the players bring something to the team. If your player isn't being impactful on the field in a game then your COACH IS NOT HELPING YOUR kid HELP [is not helping] the team.

[/quote]

Some kids are much more coachable than others. Some are more focused than others. Some put in more time to work on their skills outside of practice than others. Some kids understand the game more than others and pay attention of where they should be on the field when directed by the coach. Some kids only play soccer cause of their parents. Hence, it’s up to the coach to teach, but it’s also up the individual players too.[/quote]

Agreed. My ideal starts with clear standards and expectations established by the coaches and ongoing communication if those standards and expectations aren't being met.

As a PP advocating for coaches to take more responsibility, don't think I want to avoid consequences for shortcomings on the part of my kids if they aren't doing what they need to do. Quite the contrary - the whole point of sports is learning life lessons, including the value of working hard, being coachable, having a good attitude, accepting failure and using it as motivation to work harder. Any reasonable parent would agree.

The problem is that these valuable life lessons are not learned in a vacuum without adult guidance and supervision. There need to be articulated and understood standards.  Hell, I would have loved for a coach to tell my kid and me that he goofed off in practice last Thursday so he's not starting or his playing time is limited.  That is a valuable lesson. On the other hand, a coach who sits a kid without discussing the reason or never once commenting on ways that a player could improve to get more playing time doesn't  teach anything.  Kids are not that perceptive; they can't figure out what they are doing wrong.  Tell them.

In addition, and this is a biggy for me, the lessons need to have some connection to short term results. Work hard and get better is a useless goal. These are broad objectives that need to be broken down into much smaller steps.

I'll give you an example of what I view as good coaching. One of my kids is hard on himself and gets discouraged when he loses the ball.  That's big problem and something he needs to address.  If he's not playing for this reason, I would like to see a coach say, "This week in practice, when  we are scrimmaging, I need to see you fight as hard as you can to get the ball back - every time."  If he doesn't do it, then the coach should tell him that he needs to try more next week. He hasn't earned any change in status. However, if he does it, and the coach tells him he did well, the next game, he should see some benefit from his efforts. Instead what happens in the real world is that the kid does what you told him to do, but the next game, he doesn't play at all because the club is using a guest player in a tournament in order to win.  All he learns is that adults are full of it and winning is all that matters.

I also agree that parents should be honest about their kids' level of commitment. [/quote]

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