Reply to My adult step-daughter wants to move in with us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a child of a failed marriage,so I do not expect her to have a bright future. Cautionary tale of what  happens to the children of divorce, and why not to have kids with irresponsible people. These kids do not have the security of a roof over their head if something goes wrong!

This person is being discussed as if she is a burden on these people's life. I hope she does not have the misfortune to read this forum and self harm herself. [/quote]

You think only "failed marriages" put limits on whether young adult children can live at home rent-free, without looking for a job, and without being in school? Really?[/quote]

[b]Biological parents in intact marriages want their biological children to succeed.  They get their children the help and support needed - logistical, therapy, monetary, educational- to see that they launch.[/b] This is not common in broken families and 50% of American marriages end in divorce.

Some cultures do a better job of parenting than other cultures.  In my personal experience, White parents tend to be more money minded and less willing to inconvenience themselves for their adult children and vice versa.[/quote]

That's amazing. You literally don't believe that dysfunctional "intact" families exist. You believe that families -- so long as there is not divorce -- cannot be involved in abuse of children (including psychological), that there are not parents who drive their biological children to be like them at the expense of the children's mental health, that Bad Things Do Not Happen to kids unless their parents are divorced.

That's really quite amazing.[/quote]

Not a previous PP, but you are being extreme.  Of course abuse, neglect, and crappy parenting can happen in two biological parent households.  But kids of divorced parents have a harder road no matter how you slice it.  Even if their parents are average-good, it is still a harder road for them with less feelings of security, less assets for them, more turmoil Maybe they dislike a stepparent, or one/both parent is very engaged in dating and finding a mate they become selfish and neglectful, or don't get along with a step sibling, or one parent had more kids and is too busy with the younger ones to give older/young adult proper guidance...so many variables come up making their road harder.  [/quote]

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