Reply to My story: Accused of Residency Fraud

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Reply to "My story: Accused of Residency Fraud"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=jsteele][quote=Anonymous]You know as well as anyone that thousands of DC families don't get the schools they want for their kids.

Probably it's tens of thousands of families.

But, according to you, we should all extend the red carpet for someone coming from somewhere else, and --this is critical in this case, as it's the whole point-- not even ask any challenging questions, or verify requirements.

Well, what can I say. I think you are wrong, and prejudiced against thousands of DC families.

Your compassion is very selective.[/quote]

You are completely mischaracterizing what I said. In response to the OP you could have: a) offered support; b) moved on to another thread; or c) called her a drama queen and troll. The fact that you chose option c has nothing to do with any family in DC, but only with you. The OP is not a cheater. Showing her compassion says nothing about how cheaters should be viewed. Even if you think an investigation was justified, you can still feel sorry for the OP for being kicked while she was down. But, no, you can only double down on your determination to not show a hint of empathy and attack me. My compassion may be selective. Yours is non-existent.

[/quote]

No, you forgot option d)  - express sympathy that OP is the subject of gossip, and outrage that someone followed and photographed her, but also take issue with her exhortation that, "Before reporting suspected parents, please consider the hurt you may cause to those who truly don’t deserve it."  (And I think most people's response falls into that category.)  You claim she isn't suggesting that others shouldn't report their suspicions, but I'm not sure how else to take that comment.  She's obviously advocating that people not report.  Think it through - you suspect a parent of residency fraud.  Before reporting, you consider that your suspicions might be incorrect, but you still have the suspicions.  And then . . . what?  You either report or not report.

As for, "The OP is saying that before you report someone, you better be damn sure they are guilty because you are potentially going to unnecessarily cause them hurt," you're mistaken - she doesn't want that at all.  The part of this saga that has the OP most upset clearly is that another parent followed her and took pictures of her and her kids.  She repeatedly calls it stalking and harassment, and while I might not go that far, it certainly is disconcerting, and parents shouldn't do that.  But, how does that square with your suggestion that before reporting one must be "damn sure" the other parent is guilty?  How would one become "damn sure" about that?  The only way is by doing one's own investigation - which is exactly the most troubling thing about this to the OP.  If the general advice and best practice is for parents to decline to become amateur private investigators, setting the reporting bar at "damn sure they are guilty" is *exactly* the wrong way to do it.

Your posts on this thread thus far have been limited to righteous indignation on behalf of the OP, but you haven't addressed the underlying issue.  So let me ask you directly - if a person has a good faith suspicion that another family at his or her kid's school is engaged in residency fraud, what do you think they should do?  
 [/quote]

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