jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you forgot option d) - express sympathy that OP is the subject of gossip, and outrage that someone followed and photographed her, but also take issue with her exhortation that, "Before reporting suspected parents, please consider the hurt you may cause to those who truly don’t deserve it." (And I think most people's response falls into that category.) You claim she isn't suggesting that others shouldn't report their suspicions, but I'm not sure how else to take that comment. She's obviously advocating that people not report. Think it through - you suspect a parent of residency fraud. Before reporting, you consider that your suspicions might be incorrect, but you still have the suspicions. And then . . . what? You either report or not report.

As for, "The OP is saying that before you report someone, you better be damn sure they are guilty because you are potentially going to unnecessarily cause them hurt," you're mistaken - she doesn't want that at all. The part of this saga that has the OP most upset clearly is that another parent followed her and took pictures of her and her kids. She repeatedly calls it stalking and harassment, and while I might not go that far, it certainly is disconcerting, and parents shouldn't do that. But, how does that square with your suggestion that before reporting one must be "damn sure" the other parent is guilty? How would one become "damn sure" about that? The only way is by doing one's own investigation- which is exactly the most troubling thing about this to the OP. If the general advice and best practice is for parents to decline to become amateur private investigators, setting the reporting bar at "damn sure they are guilty" is *exactly* the wrong way to do it.

Your posts on this thread thus far have been limited to righteous indignation on behalf of the OP, but you haven't addressed the underlying issue. So let me ask you directly - if a person has a good faith suspicion that another family at his or her kid's school is engaged in residency fraud, what do you think they should do?

Let me get this straight? You are actually advocating that parents follow other parents around, even photographing them, based on suspicions that they might be residency cheaters? That is what you consider proper behavior? I'm sorry, but that's insane.

If you know someone is cheating, turn them in. If you simply think they might be cheating, it's not your job to investigate. I might think you are cheating on your taxes. That doesn't mean I should dig through your trash can looking for financial statements does it? If you don't think current DCPS practices are sufficient to prevent cheating, then advocate for change. Becoming your own vigilante Inspector Clouseau is not the answer. Instead of spending your time trying to justify your suspicions, use that time getting to know other families.

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you forgot option d) - express sympathy that OP is the subject of gossip, and outrage that someone followed and photographed her, but also take issue with her exhortation that, "Before reporting suspected parents, please consider the hurt you may cause to those who truly don’t deserve it." (And I think most people's response falls into that category.) You claim she isn't suggesting that others shouldn't report their suspicions, but I'm not sure how else to take that comment. She's obviously advocating that people not report. Think it through - you suspect a parent of residency fraud. Before reporting, you consider that your suspicions might be incorrect, but you still have the suspicions. And then . . . what? You either report or not report.

As for, "The OP is saying that before you report someone, you better be damn sure they are guilty because you are potentially going to unnecessarily cause them hurt," you're mistaken - she doesn't want that at all. The part of this saga that has the OP most upset clearly is that another parent followed her and took pictures of her and her kids. She repeatedly calls it stalking and harassment, and while I might not go that far, it certainly is disconcerting, and parents shouldn't do that. But, how does that square with your suggestion that before reporting one must be "damn sure" the other parent is guilty? How would one become "damn sure" about that? The only way is by doing one's own investigation- which is exactly the most troubling thing about this to the OP. If the general advice and best practice is for parents to decline to become amateur private investigators, setting the reporting bar at "damn sure they are guilty" is *exactly* the wrong way to do it.

Your posts on this thread thus far have been limited to righteous indignation on behalf of the OP, but you haven't addressed the underlying issue. So let me ask you directly - if a person has a good faith suspicion that another family at his or her kid's school is engaged in residency fraud, what do you think they should do?

Let me get this straight? You are actually advocating that parents follow other parents around, even photographing them, based on suspicions that they might be residency cheaters? That is what you consider proper behavior? I'm sorry, but that's insane.

If you know someone is cheating, turn them in. If you simply think they might be cheating, it's not your job to investigate. I might think you are cheating on your taxes. That doesn't mean I should dig through your trash can looking for financial statements does it? If you don't think current DCPS practices are sufficient to prevent cheating, then advocate for change. Becoming your own vigilante Inspector Clouseau is not the answer. Instead of spending your time trying to justify your suspicions, use that time getting to know other families.

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you forgot option d) - express sympathy that OP is the subject of gossip, and outrage that someone followed and photographed her, but also take issue with her exhortation that, "Before reporting suspected parents, please consider the hurt you may cause to those who truly don’t deserve it." (And I think most people's response falls into that category.) You claim she isn't suggesting that others shouldn't report their suspicions, but I'm not sure how else to take that comment. She's obviously advocating that people not report. Think it through - you suspect a parent of residency fraud. Before reporting, you consider that your suspicions might be incorrect, but you still have the suspicions. And then . . . what? You either report or not report.

As for, "The OP is saying that before you report someone, you better be damn sure they are guilty because you are potentially going to unnecessarily cause them hurt," you're mistaken - she doesn't want that at all. The part of this saga that has the OP most upset clearly is that another parent followed her and took pictures of her and her kids. She repeatedly calls it stalking and harassment, and while I might not go that far, it certainly is disconcerting, and parents shouldn't do that. But, how does that square with your suggestion that before reporting one must be "damn sure" the other parent is guilty? How would one become "damn sure" about that? The only way is by doing one's own investigation- which is exactly the most troubling thing about this to the OP. If the general advice and best practice is for parents to decline to become amateur private investigators, setting the reporting bar at "damn sure they are guilty" is *exactly* the wrong way to do it.

Your posts on this thread thus far have been limited to righteous indignation on behalf of the OP, but you haven't addressed the underlying issue. So let me ask you directly - if a person has a good faith suspicion that another family at his or her kid's school is engaged in residency fraud, what do you think they should do?

Let me get this straight? You are actually advocating that parents follow other parents around, even photographing them, based on suspicions that they might be residency cheaters? That is what you consider proper behavior? I'm sorry, but that's insane.

If you know someone is cheating, turn them in. If you simply think they might be cheating, it's not your job to investigate. I might think you are cheating on your taxes. That doesn't mean I should dig through your trash can looking for financial statements does it? If you don't think current DCPS practices are sufficient to prevent cheating, then advocate for change. Becoming your own vigilante Inspector Clouseau is not the answer. Instead of spending your time trying to justify your suspicions, use that time getting to know other families.

You should get some coffee and read PP's post a bit more carefully.

She's advocating for the precise opposite

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you forgot option d) - express sympathy that OP is the subject of gossip, and outrage that someone followed and photographed her, but also take issue with her exhortation that, "Before reporting suspected parents, please consider the hurt you may cause to those who truly don’t deserve it." (And I think most people's response falls into that category.) You claim she isn't suggesting that others shouldn't report their suspicions, but I'm not sure how else to take that comment. She's obviously advocating that people not report. Think it through - you suspect a parent of residency fraud. Before reporting, you consider that your suspicions might be incorrect, but you still have the suspicions. And then . . . what? You either report or not report.

As for, "The OP is saying that before you report someone, you better be damn sure they are guilty because you are potentially going to unnecessarily cause them hurt," you're mistaken - she doesn't want that at all. The part of this saga that has the OP most upset clearly is that another parent followed her and took pictures of her and her kids. She repeatedly calls it stalking and harassment, and while I might not go that far, it certainly is disconcerting, and parents shouldn't do that. But, how does that square with your suggestion that before reporting one must be "damn sure" the other parent is guilty? How would one become "damn sure" about that? The only way is by doing one's own investigation- which is exactly the most troubling thing about this to the OP. If the general advice and best practice is for parents to decline to become amateur private investigators, setting the reporting bar at "damn sure they are guilty" is *exactly* the wrong way to do it.

Your posts on this thread thus far have been limited to righteous indignation on behalf of the OP, but you haven't addressed the underlying issue. So let me ask you directly - if a person has a good faith suspicion that another family at his or her kid's school is engaged in residency fraud, what do you think they should do?

Let me get this straight? You are actually advocating that parents follow other parents around, even photographing them, based on suspicions that they might be residency cheaters? That is what you consider proper behavior? I'm sorry, but that's insane.

If you know someone is cheating, turn them in. If you simply think they might be cheating, it's not your job to investigate. I might think you are cheating on your taxes. That doesn't mean I should dig through your trash can looking for financial statements does it? If you don't think current DCPS practices are sufficient to prevent cheating, then advocate for change. Becoming your own vigilante Inspector Clouseau is not the answer. Instead of spending your time trying to justify your suspicions, use that time getting to know other families.

Anonymous wrote:No, you forgot option d) - express sympathy that OP is the subject of gossip, and outrage that someone followed and photographed her, but also take issue with her exhortation that, "Before reporting suspected parents, please consider the hurt you may cause to those who truly don’t deserve it." (And I think most people's response falls into that category.) You claim she isn't suggesting that others shouldn't report their suspicions, but I'm not sure how else to take that comment. She's obviously advocating that people not report. Think it through - you suspect a parent of residency fraud. Before reporting, you consider that your suspicions might be incorrect, but you still have the suspicions. And then . . . what? You either report or not report.

As for, "The OP is saying that before you report someone, you better be damn sure they are guilty because you are potentially going to unnecessarily cause them hurt," you're mistaken - she doesn't want that at all. The part of this saga that has the OP most upset clearly is that another parent followed her and took pictures of her and her kids. She repeatedly calls it stalking and harassment, and while I might not go that far, it certainly is disconcerting, and parents shouldn't do that. But, how does that square with your suggestion that before reporting one must be "damn sure" the other parent is guilty? How would one become "damn sure" about that? The only way is by doing one's own investigation- which is exactly the most troubling thing about this to the OP. If the general advice and best practice is for parents to decline to become amateur private investigators, setting the reporting bar at "damn sure they are guilty" is *exactly* the wrong way to do it.

Your posts on this thread thus far have been limited to righteous indignation on behalf of the OP, but you haven't addressed the underlying issue. So let me ask you directly - if a person has a good faith suspicion that another family at his or her kid's school is engaged in residency fraud, what do you think they should do?

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know as well as anyone that thousands of DC families don't get the schools they want for their kids.

Probably it's tens of thousands of families.

But, according to you, we should all extend the red carpet for someone coming from somewhere else, and --this is critical in this case, as it's the whole point-- not even ask any challenging questions, or verify requirements.

Well, what can I say. I think you are wrong, and prejudiced against thousands of DC families.

Your compassion is very selective.

You are completely mischaracterizing what I said. In response to the OP you could have: a) offered support; b) moved on to another thread; or c) called her a drama queen and troll. The fact that you chose option c has nothing to do with any family in DC, but only with you. The OP is not a cheater. Showing her compassion says nothing about how cheaters should be viewed. Even if you think an investigation was justified, you can still feel sorry for the OP for being kicked while she was down. But, no, you can only double down on your determination to not show a hint of empathy and attack me. My compassion may be selective. Yours is non-existent.

No, you forgot option d) - express sympathy that OP is the subject of gossip, and outrage that someone followed and photographed her, but also take issue with her exhortation that, "Before reporting suspected parents, please consider the hurt you may cause to those who truly don’t deserve it." (And I think most people's response falls into that category.) You claim she isn't suggesting that others shouldn't report their suspicions, but I'm not sure how else to take that comment. She's obviously advocating that people not report. Think it through - you suspect a parent of residency fraud. Before reporting, you consider that your suspicions might be incorrect, but you still have the suspicions. And then . . . what? You either report or not report.

As for, "The OP is saying that before you report someone, you better be damn sure they are guilty because you are potentially going to unnecessarily cause them hurt," you're mistaken - she doesn't want that at all. The part of this saga that has the OP most upset clearly is that another parent followed her and took pictures of her and her kids. She repeatedly calls it stalking and harassment, and while I might not go that far, it certainly is disconcerting, and parents shouldn't do that. But, how does that square with your suggestion that before reporting one must be "damn sure" the other parent is guilty? How would one become "damn sure" about that? The only way is by doing one's own investigation - which is exactly the most troubling thing about this to the OP. If the general advice and best practice is for parents to decline to become amateur private investigators, setting the reporting bar at "damn sure they are guilty" is *exactly* the wrong way to do it.

Your posts on this thread thus far have been limited to righteous indignation on behalf of the OP, but you haven't addressed the underlying issue. So let me ask you directly - if a person has a good faith suspicion that another family at his or her kid's school is engaged in residency fraud, what do you think they should do?

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this happened to OP.

It has no bearing on continuing to report and investigate others who are cheating.

Both statements can be true.

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know as well as anyone that thousands of DC families don't get the schools they want for their kids.

Probably it's tens of thousands of families.

But, according to you, we should all extend the red carpet for someone coming from somewhere else, and --this is critical in this case, as it's the whole point-- not even ask any challenging questions, or verify requirements.

Well, what can I say. I think you are wrong, and prejudiced against thousands of DC families.

Your compassion is very selective.

You are completely mischaracterizing what I said. In response to the OP you could have: a) offered support; b) moved on to another thread; or c) called her a drama queen and troll. The fact that you chose option c has nothing to do with any family in DC, but only with you. The OP is not a cheater. Showing her compassion says nothing about how cheaters should be viewed. Even if you think an investigation was justified, you can still feel sorry for the OP for being kicked while she was down. But, no, you can only double down on your determination to not show a hint of empathy and attack me. My compassion may be selective. Yours is non-existent.

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know as well as anyone that thousands of DC families don't get the schools they want for their kids.

Probably it's tens of thousands of families.

But, according to you, we should all extend the red carpet for someone coming from somewhere else, and --this is critical in this case, as it's the whole point-- not even ask any challenging questions, or verify requirements.

Well, what can I say. I think you are wrong, and prejudiced against thousands of DC families.

Your compassion is very selective.

You are completely mischaracterizing what I said. In response to the OP you could have: a) offered support; b) moved on to another thread; or c) called her a drama queen and troll. The fact that you chose option c has nothing to do with any family in DC, but only with you. The OP is not a cheater. Showing her compassion says nothing about how cheaters should be viewed. Even if you think an investigation was justified, you can still feel sorry for the OP for being kicked while she was down. But, no, you can only double down on your determination to not show a hint of empathy and attack me. My compassion may be selective. Yours is non-existent.

Your compassion is selective, just one person, OP.

My compassion is selective too, just ten thousand parents, including many you censored out here in this thread.

This thread is not about ten thousand parents. It is about one parent who was falsely accused. Sadly, you are incapable of saying something as simple as, "OP, I'm sorry that this happened to you." This thread is not about those who cheat, but rather someone who was falsely accused of cheating. It is about someone who, when faced with a difficult time of her life, had the added insult of a false accusation leveled against her. What would it cost you to show her some compassion? Whatever it is, it would cost even less to just shut the hell up and move to another thread. But, no. You just can't help piling on. I hope that makes you feel good. You can sit anonymously behind your computer stroking your chin and thinking how great it feels kicking someone when they are down. Really tremendous character you are showing. Give yourself an extra pat on the back.

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know as well as anyone that thousands of DC families don't get the schools they want for their kids.

Probably it's tens of thousands of families.

But, according to you, we should all extend the red carpet for someone coming from somewhere else, and --this is critical in this case, as it's the whole point-- not even ask any challenging questions, or verify requirements.

Well, what can I say. I think you are wrong, and prejudiced against thousands of DC families.

Your compassion is very selective.

You are completely mischaracterizing what I said. In response to the OP you could have: a) offered support; b) moved on to another thread; or c) called her a drama queen and troll. The fact that you chose option c has nothing to do with any family in DC, but only with you. The OP is not a cheater. Showing her compassion says nothing about how cheaters should be viewed. Even if you think an investigation was justified, you can still feel sorry for the OP for being kicked while she was down. But, no, you can only double down on your determination to not show a hint of empathy and attack me. My compassion may be selective. Yours is non-existent.

Your compassion is selective, just one person, OP.

My compassion is selective too, just ten thousand parents, including many you censored out here in this thread.

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know as well as anyone that thousands of DC families don't get the schools they want for their kids.

Probably it's tens of thousands of families.

But, according to you, we should all extend the red carpet for someone coming from somewhere else, and --this is critical in this case, as it's the whole point-- not even ask any challenging questions, or verify requirements.

Well, what can I say. I think you are wrong, and prejudiced against thousands of DC families.

Your compassion is very selective.

You are completely mischaracterizing what I said. In response to the OP you could have: a) offered support; b) moved on to another thread; or c) called her a drama queen and troll. The fact that you chose option c has nothing to do with any family in DC, but only with you. The OP is not a cheater. Showing her compassion says nothing about how cheaters should be viewed. Even if you think an investigation was justified, you can still feel sorry for the OP for being kicked while she was down. But, no, you can only double down on your determination to not show a hint of empathy and attack me. My compassion may be selective. Yours is non-existent.

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG.

Yes, by using your first name I showed I knew who are are, and therefore I know you read these threads all the time.

My point stands. You read these threads, you moderate them and censor them, but still you live somewhere very far from them. Very far from us.

You are acting like the stereotypical limo liberal. "How do you dare challenge OP? Why oh why should she have to prove where she actually lives? Isn't doing that truly demeaning? I'm so so so disappointed in all of you, my little children."

Maybe you should engage in more real conversations with all of us.

PS: I believe DCUM is a great resource, and I thank you. But please treat us as adults.

What a strange post. As I said, not only do I read these posts, I have personally experienced struggling with the school situation in DC. Since we have apparently reached the point where we are characterizing each other, let me give it a shot. Unlike my family, I don't think you live in a neighborhood whose inbound school didn't meet your expectations and had to put your children's future into the hands of the lottery (or move). I don't think potential cheaters actually threatened spaces that might have otherwise gone to your child or children. I've been in that situation. What makes you think that I need to talk to anyone to learn what that's like? Maybe you should take some of your own advice and have a real conversation with the OP instead of writing her off as a drama queen, troll, or someone who got exactly what she deserved? I am disappointed because I apparently run a forum that has attracted a huge number of people incapable of showing simple compassion. Who, given the choice of showing support and understanding, simply being quiet, or acting like jerks, chose the third option. What is wrong with you people that you can't simply be nice?

You know as well as anyone that thousands of DC families don't get the schools they want for their kids.

Probably it's tens of thousands of families.

But, according to you, we should all extend the red carpet for someone coming from somewhere else, and --this is critical in this case, as it's the whole point-- not even ask any challenging questions, or verify requirements.

Well, what can I say. I think you are wrong, and prejudiced against thousands of DC families.

Your compassion is very selective.

Anonymous wrote:People are sick to follow families around to investigate residency fraud for grade/middle/high school. Good Lord. Everyone who uses public school is freeloading to some extent...your taxes don't cover the full cost of your kids' educations. Should everyone be charged their full portion and should people who pay local taxes supporting these schools get refunds if they don't use them?

Listen, I don't agree with sending kids out of district when it is not permitted, but I hardly think it is a serious crime. Where we should be focusing our energies, money, and time is in making schools better everywhere by investing in top quality teachers (pay the good ones double) and getting rid of unions.

OP - It is awful anyone did this to you.

Anonymous wrote:You know as well as anyone that thousands of DC families don't get the schools they want for their kids.

Probably it's tens of thousands of families.

But, according to you, we should all extend the red carpet for someone coming from somewhere else, and --this is critical in this case, as it's the whole point-- not even ask any challenging questions, or verify requirements.

Well, what can I say. I think you are wrong, and prejudiced against thousands of DC families.

Your compassion is very selective.