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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sick today and my twelve year old DS told me to "[b]stop whining and bitching about it[/b]."

A lot of people think it's terrible that he would speak to me like that- but because I'm his mom, I know his ADHD makes him impulsive but not mean.

It hurt my feelings and of course I talked with him about being respectful. He balances out some nastiness with some exceptionally nice behavior- he used my phone to text back and forth with his elderly grandmother quite bit this morning (she loved it) and he paid attention to our needy, affectionate dog.

DH is on work travel- and family lives far away, so no fancy brunches, but that's okay.

Being a parent is kind of hard and complicated sometimes- especially when kids are in some rough patches of tween and teen. I love my DS and I think he's a blessing (even on bad days). [/quote]

You are so, so, wrong about this.  ADHD has nothing to do with a son who would say this to his mother.

--mother of another 12 yr old with ADHD[/quote]

And you are so, so wrong that your ADHD experience is universal.

In fact ADHD can absolutely be linked to anger, irritability, and outbursts.  It sure is in my family. My father, a couple of brothers, and my own son.  And yes, his impulsivity + anger, both of which are related to his ADHD, sometimes means he has outbursts saying things that would shock people like you.

Please don't minimize another mother's experience based simply on your own.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/anger-in-adhd-and-temper-reducing-tools-to-help/

https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/add-adhd/adhd-and-anger-what-you-need-to-know

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5409953/[/quote]

It's irrelevant.  Many things are linked to anger, irritability, etc, including many medications and mental disorders.  You still don't get a pass for behaving that way.  Nobody is shocked by it.  But go ahead and give all the men in your life a free pass to treat you poorly.  I'm sure you're rearing lovely people....[/quote]

Who said anything about getting a pass?  Please quote the exact phrase where I said my son gets a "pass" for his ADHD-related outbursts (and please define a "pass").

And no, I'm not rearing a lovely person. He's a hot mess and I worry about him non-stop.  Thanks for asking, though.  You sound lovely yourself.  I guess owing to your own mother's fantastic rearing abilities? She obviously instilled a lot of empathy and compassion in you.[/quote]

eh, we know you can't control your kid.  As long as you aren't handing him excuses for being a jerk and as long as you are swiftly and firmly calling him out when he is a jerk....that is all you can do.  Sometimes nice parents have kids who can be a-holes.  I'm sorry if that's what you're dealing with.[/quote]

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