Reply to DH’s sister is an addict

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sooo, you have money that they want and clarity that they need.  If SIL wasn't in the picture but they still needed help, would you give them money?  If so, then I think you should call a family meeting (without SIL) and say respectfully look, you guys are hinting at desire for financial assistance.  I love you dearly and I want you to be comfortable but I truly believe that SIL has a problem and giving her money directly or indirectly is bad for her and bad for us.  You obviously feel differently.  We have a difference of opinion and none of us are experts.  If you are willing to join me in attending meetings for families of addicts or seeing a therapist to help us navigate this situation, I am open to loosening purse strings.  Without outside intervention, however, I'm not budging, so please stop asking me.[/quote]
OP here. I’m not liquidating the shares for anyone except my kids. And without that money, we can’t help anyone except our nuclear family.[/quote]
OP I think this is a perfectly fine stance as the shares kind of sound like more of a nest age than something you need to pay the bills. I also think it is super gross that your ILs would expect you to support them and your SIL with money that you didn’t even come into during the marriage! Maybe you could just start referring to it as something specifically for your kids. So like when they make comments about the shares you could say something like “oh you don’t mean my kids college money/wedding money/grad school funds/etc do you?” Just to hammer home that it is not something that is up for grabs. [/quote]

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