Reply to Do men regret their divorces?

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Reply to "Do men regret their divorces?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok.... My husband left me and the kids. Walked out the door for his mistress. He told me he regrets it. He doesn't cry himself to sleep every night (I don't think), he made peace (to some degree?) with the fact he pretty much f-ed up his life. We are friends.[/quote]

Another story from a woman.  I wonder what he would tell me if I met him in a bar.[/quote]

You do realize that the story he tells you at the bar may not be the truth either, right? Most people don't like to admit when they have made a mistake, so they put on a happy front.

My ex told me on numerous occasions that he felt like our divorce was a mistake and that he wanted to get back together-- [i]he[/i] cheated and [i]he[/i] filed for the divorce. He never got back on his feet after the divorce (we had a 50/50 split so there was no child support) and he died from heart disease exactly two years after we split. He was only 44 at the time of his death.

I thrived after the divorce and would have never gone back to him. [/quote]

Same thing with my SIL. Her husband stupidly left her at age 50 for another woman. The other woman was broke having gone through bankruptcy and a divorce with her husband. I don't think SIL's husband researched her. Nasty divorce. He wanted the new tart and the home that was paid off.  Judge gave her the home since she had the kids, and took less of the retirement. Home really appreciated. He and the new woman almost had to start over. Not a good age to do that.  The OW ended up dying of a heart valve problem, and he died 3 years after that. He also tried to get back with SIL, but she refused his calls. Never talked to him after the divorce. [b]He wasn't even invited to the sons wedding. 
[/b]
A lot of people don't factor in health problems, or changes in the job market etc. There's a reason 2nd marriages fail at a greater rate.[/quote]

Wow, your SIL did a fantastic job alienating the children so that they didn't even invite their own father to the wedding. 
[/quote]

lol He was grown fyi.  The ex cheater alienated many by his actions.[/quote]

So kids unlearn the alienation when they turn 18?[/quote]

Why didn't he win their affection while he was married to their mother?[/quote]

Having to "win affection" isn't normal.  Children typically love both parents unless the child has been alienated.  The alienation process starts long before divorce, and can be the cause of divorce.  
[/quote]

Or, quite possibly, the kids were traumatized by their father leaving for the OW and trying to take the house they grew up in, so they didn't want anything to do with him.  You make it sound like the parent can do whatever and the kids will still love him or her but that's not the case. [/quote]

Something like that happened to a friend of mine.  But he took the high road--didn't tell the children that his exDW had cut him off from sex for the previous 5 years, among other things.  So they all blamed dad.  [/quote]

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