Reply to Is this the norm for divorced 30 something women?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yep.

If you want to invent a ton of busywork to be a martyr while your spouse handles everything that really needs to be done while also handling the children, knock yourself out.[/quote]

But you agreed that basically nothing on that list is actually busywork.  If a woman has to handle all of that (in addition to the daily chores, like childcare, laundry, cleaning, cooking), I have a hard time understanding what you're getting at.  We're not talking about you, we're talking about DHs who actually do nothing (which are many, as indicated by copious research and anecdote).  I have no idea what your wife did that you think that was "busywork" but more examples might be useful. [/quote]

You seem like a kind person. I'm not trying to argue or be a jerk.

When I was married, my wife and I split chores 50/50.  SHe's OCD about cleanliness so it wasn't 50/50 pre-kids. Dusting the guest bedroom and stuff was all her. (I consider that busywork and she didn't use that to one up me, so all ok). I did extra on the childcare post-kids to make it 50/50 so she could mop the storage closet and re-arrange the kids clothing drawers.

Everything else is my own personal complaints. You're right: no need to extrapolate beyond that. I live in a condo with extra bedrooms for my kids to visit three days a week. It doesn't take much time at all to keep it spotlessly clean when I'm by myself. When the kids are with me, we have fun. When they're with their mom they clean and do yard work.  [/quote]

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