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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.[/quote]

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.[/quote]

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that.  The reason they remarry is probably subconscious.  But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them.  For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life.  A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.  [/quote]

[b]Who the hell are these men who get "everything" done for them?[/b] That's not my life, I know that much. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, clean up after myself.

As for "live in a nice home, go on vacations" since I pay for those things it is my right to enjoy them --[b] and heck I don't need to be married to get either one[/b].[/quote]

Most men.  Out of all of our married friends I dont know one couple where the man is in charge of the social calendar, buys the children clothing, plans the vacations and figures our logistics, decorated the house etc.

So you currently are the one who meets with the interior designer?  You plan the vacations and I don't mean just picking the location to visit.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself (if married) to see if someone is taking care of you:

1. Who purchased the airfare and booked the hotel on the last vacation??  Who chose what to do on the vacation and researched it in advance?

2.  Who chose and purchased the sheets on your bed?  Or did these sheets just show up and you never thought about where th came from?

3.  Who washes the sheets?  Who knows when they were last wages?

4. Who chose the window coverings in your house and scheduled for them to be installed?  Who made sure they match your decor?

5.  Who scheduled the last doctor's appointment for your child?  Who went?

6.  Who determined the Christmas Eve/day menu, went shopping for it and cooked?

7.  Who decided how to celebrate New Years?

8.  Who planned the last date night ?  Who scheduled the babysitter for it?

9.  Who scheduled your kid's birthday party, bought the cake, bought presents, had your kid write thank you not s?

10.  Who picked out the furniture and bedding in your childrens' rooms?

11.  When is your child due for their next vaccine?  Next doctor's appointment?  When is registration for school?

12.  Who made sure your child learned to swim?

13.  Who makes sure the dog has had a bath?

14.  Who figured out what you'll do over thanksgiving and where you'll go?  Who told others what the plan is?

Omg I could go on.

Congratulations if you did all of these things above.  If so, you're an evolved male.  [/quote]

I agree.  I have 12 categories of things that I put on my "to do" list weekly (this is copied from a document I keep on my computer)

1) Social life: This includes making plans with friends, arranging babysitters for date nights, planning vacations and outings for breaks from school, planning playdates/play group, calling/texting old friends and relatives, calling my mom every day 
2) Kids sports: This includes making sure the kids get daily exercise, planning things to get moving, signing up for swim team/soccer/basketball/gymnastics 
3) My own exercise: 5x/wk on the erg. Out rowing as often as possible 
4) Clothing/Grooming: purchasing clothes that fit, getting rid of old ones, my own hair appointments, getting kids hair cut, keeping up with doctor and dentist appointments, purchasing and replacing accessories as needed (shoes, belts, hairbows, earrings), daily laundry 
5) Food: Weekly meal planning, trips to farmers market, grocery shopping, special food and meal plans for holidays and social events 
6) Education: supplement with math as needed, music lessons, daily music practice, journal writing, reading the news, having certain texts available to kids, knowing when school events are and attending or getting relative/friend to attend in our stead
7) Reading/Entertainment: weekly trips to the library, trips to the bookstore, keeping up with xbox games and parental controls, family movie night, tickets to plays/shows/events, keeping age appropriate toys, keeping craft supplies updated and organized 
8) Home maintenance/Decor: daily cleaning, wipe-downs, and pick-up, managing cleaning service, painting, minor household repairs, finding artwork, lighting, furniture, changing decorations seasonally, flipping mattresses, replacing towels and sheets as needed 
9) Work: schedule childcare, schedule additional childcare if needed for unexpected hours, particular things I need to do for my work 
10) Volunteer: make meals as needed with church group, write letters to prisoners, monthly free clinic, continue to look for ways to volunteer through work and church bulletin 
11) Cars: maintenance as needed, oil changes, keep interior clean 
12) Yard: weekly mowing, weed, tree trimming, mulch, planting flowers and bulbs, trim bushes, clean gutters yearly

It's a lot of work to keep up with everything.  
[/quote]

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