Reply to Anyone Convince DH to Get Vasectomy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Isn't this like deciding on having another child? "The 'no' vote wins"?[/quote]

Sure. But choices have consequences. Like condoms in conjunction with NFP...no sex during fertile window...which is 7-10 days of the month...[/quote]

Hmph. Well then I would his "no" vote to monogamy would be perfectly justified. :)[/quote]

Avoiding sex for 1/4 of the month is "justification" for cheating? You are a sad, sad person. No wonder no one wants to have a relationship with you. [/quote]

Are you psychic? You seem to know all about my life! What color dress am I wearing right now?[/quote]

Who knows about your physical appearance. Your personality channels this though: 
[img]https://ourwisconsinourwildlife.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/south-park-s10e08c05-the-slaughter-16x9.jpg[/img]

Definitely not appealing to others. 
[/quote]

If only you knew! ;) I'm definitely more appealing than all the shrews demanding things from their husbands and threatening no sex. It's okay. He's probably rather leave and have sex with someone that's not a total soul-sucker. [/quote]

So how would you handle OP's situation? Just accept the additional health risks and get your tubes tied? No resentment towards DH at all?

[/quote]

The risks are very low, so yes.  I'm also not a tit-for-tat scorekeeper partner, so this is not that big of a deal to me.  Let's face it.  The ladies here going on about it are not very concerned about heath risks.  This is more about scorekeeping for them. I'm not that type of person, and keeping score is not good for a relationship, so I would do it.[/quote]

Did you have really easy pregnancies or something? I am not a scorekeeper. But I notice when I do 99% of something and my husband does none of it. In some cases I don't care because it generally all evens out. I do 99% of cooking but my DH does 99% of bug killing and fixing stuff. And it feels like we share childcare pretty well.

But my pregnancies have been hellish. I almost died the first time around. I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant and despite being uncomfortable and large I am still pulling my weight with our toddler and the house. I'm fine with all this, there is no way for my husband to share this burden. I truly believe he would if he could.

I don't count who washes the dishes every day, I don't count how many bedtimes each of us shoulders, how many drop offs. There is no chore tally in my head. But bearing the burden of family planning is difficult and one I have born exclusively for almost our entire relationship. This honestly would not be about whether the vasectomy or tubal is worse (although like a pp said, like the whole world agrees that the V is less dangerous and less invasive), this would be about this refusal being a slap in the face to every unwanted pound I carried while on birth control, every bout of acne, every ache and pain of pregnancy, every injury associated with birth, the damage done to my core and abdominals as a result of carrying children, the damage done to my pelvic floor, the stress of thinking about backup plans when I have to take antibiotics, the $$$$$ I spent on birth control out of my own pocket before we were married.

If my husband refused to consider a vasectomy, it would show me that he has virtually no appreciation or understanding for what I have gone through as a woman for basically my entire adult life. And that would be a big problem in our marriage.[/quote]

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