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[quote=Anonymous]What DIL did was tacky in many ways.  I will give you that.  But, what's done is done and now I would encourage you to make the best of the situation.  Don't offer to bring anything else!  I assume that in offering to bring the china you also asked her if there's anything else you can bring.  If she said she'd get back to you, wait until she does. If she doesn't, bring a nice bottle of wine and box of chocolates that she can choose to serve that day or not.

As for your long-time guests, I would still host them, but change the time.  They will understand that your family is changing as a result of your son's marriage.  Whatever time DIL is having her meal, have your guests during the opposite part of the day.  Make it a Thanksgiving brunch (cranberry mimosas, mmm) or an evening Thanksgiving celebration with appetizers and dessert.  Let them know right away so they can adjust their schedules if necessary.

What your DIL did is the kind of thing that really irks me, but I've found that with people like her, all you can really do is be the bigger person and make plans that will make you happy, even though they're not your first choice.

After hosting this one, she may need a break in future years, so you'll likely have the chance for your regular celebration again.  Or if you want to irk her back, next August send the evite invitation for your Thanksgiving.
  [/quote]

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