Reply to I'm a female sex addict in recovery...ask me anything

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,
I've read this entire thread with great interest because I could be your twin ... only I've not started recovery (yet).

I've been married 15 years and have sex with 10 men outside my marriage.  A couple ONS, one full-blown physical/emotional affair, mostly casual FWB arrangements. I've slept with neighbors, coworkers, friends.  Husband knows none of this and tells me constantly that he is so happy with our marriage. None of my friends or family know I've ever cheated (except for the men themselves, of course, but most think they were the only one).

I go through periods of being good, but keep finding myself back at it. I'd like to hear more about the recovery process. Do you think it would be possible to enter a treatment program without disclosing everything to the spouse? Or is that counter to the whole concept of recovery? I'm afraid that my attempt to fix myself would end up destroying his world. If I can do it without that, it'd be easier to imagine getting started. [/quote]

Let me clarify. Yes you can enter recovery without disclosing everything. Many people do. But I think to enter recovery without disclosing anything will be problematic. The point is to move toward greater transparency, not less.[/quote]

PP here ... thanks, that makes sense. I can appreciate the need to move toward transparency.  I just can't help feeling like there should be some way for me to address my own issues without blowing up his world. [/quote]

NP. His world is already blown up, but right now he just doesn't know it. You have to tell him at least that you've been unfaithful in the past, regret it, and are committed to working on remaining faithful from now on, because not telling him anything at all is continuing to treat him with disrespect and dishonesty. It'll suck, but he, and your marriage, deserve a foundation of truth, right? [/quote]

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