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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Minority women who struggle with dating..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^I worked on a research project on interracial dating using OK Cupid and Match data. The results, which were released to the media and highly publicized, actually revealed that Asian women are more likely than women of other races to seek out men outside their race, primarily white men. This was measured by looking at how often Asian women initiated interactions and also followed up. They showed far more preference for white men than white men showed for them, and also showed more preference for Hispanic men than Hispanic men showed for them. All in all, Asian women's success in the dating field is a consequence of smart dating, as opposed to men finding them more attractive. White men are both the most successful men in America and the most numerous men in America. [b]Asian women are playing the numbers very wisely, unlike African American women who continue to act as if dating a white man is a capital offense.[/b] It is staggering how many perpetually single African American women I know who are approached by white men, but would rather die single waiting for African American men. They are simply not being rational about their own interests. Here's an interesting and true stat: If even 5 percent of white men are interested in African American women, that is enough to get every single African American woman under age 44 married. And I can say from research and personal observation that far more than 5 percent of white men are interested in African American women.[/quote] For a researcher, you make a lot of shocking and heavily biased assumptions. It's an important reminder that "research" can find anything the researchers want to find. There are a lot of factors that go into attraction. One that you're oblivious to is acceptance by a potential partner's family. I'm an AA woman happily married to an AA man for 10 years now, but I've dated enough white men (and yes, I found them attractive!) to know without reservation that I wouldn't want to be married to one. For me, it all boils down to levels of understanding and acceptance I can expect from a partner AND his family. When you make [i]that[/i] a numbers game, it gives finding a good match among white men an extremely low score. I'm thinking back on all these white guys I dated and, with the exception of one, in each case, either the guy or his mother made it clear to me early in the relationship that there would be no marriage. (For some reason, their dads were always cool with it. Hmm.) I'm not sure if you can comprehend how insulting it is for someone to bring this up while you're still trying to determine if you want to go on another date. I can think of four men, all Jewish, who told me this by the second date. None of them got a third, though ironically, these are the ones who pursued me the hardest. You can call me a racist if you want, but my self-esteem and my preference took a hard turn against anything long term with a white guy based on that personal experience. Just check the Family Relationships forum if you want a little taste of the kind of drama in-laws can place on a marriage. pffft. I don't need it and I don't blame any black woman who'd rather stay single than put up with it. So when I read your hypothesis on why more Asian women are married to white men, the first thing that came to mind is that their families are more often accepting of and even encourage their daughters to marry white men. It opens up their mating pool quite a bit. And white guys are way more understanding and accepting of cultural differences with Asians than they are with black people. Even while they're holding, but ignoring, their own biases (assumptions) about those differences. Maybe there's some research you can dig up that proves stereotypes about Asian women are mostly positive, while they're most negative for black women. Or you can just re-read your own post. [/quote]
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