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[quote=Anonymous]The financial and education situation sounds familiar to what many Arab families are doing. In some situations parents pay, in some, government will pay. Often older siblings will take care of younger siblings, who are in high school, while parents are back home or working in another country. While OP does sound critical, it also sounds like she is trying to protect her sister from their parents who might be really mad about her choices.  I am not saying they have the right to be mad, but they are not US parents and in many countries, no matter the age of the child, parent's word is the law.  OP is acting like the person who lives here but still follows the rules of her native country. Her sister has become disillusioned with her family, country and customs, and has become "entitled" American, who is now looking out for every wrong ever done to her, which is considered regular behavior in her native country. I can sympathize with both. Older sister was piled up ton of responsibility on by her parents and couldn't relax and just enjoy being here, studying and she probably has different personality.  Apart from being critical, she seems to have, in fact, protected her younger sister and her "new ways." If younger sister didn't become full fledged American Millennial, she would have snapped back that she'll eat what she wants, older sister would have said something whatever and this would be normal exchange without any other consequences.  Younger sister seems to have a whole new set of friends who are teaching her how "abusive" her sister and family are because they are to them, but they are acting just like people from their country act.  All in all, it would be ideal if both sisters were able to accept that living here and becoming American doesn't have to mean completely rejecting one way or the other, you should take the best from both worlds.  We can all be more respectful to elderly, less bossy and critical of the young, we can all love a salad and a steak, but still enjoy baklava. If older sister was to write an e-mail saying that she will give her sister space and wishes her all the best in her choices, that she is sorry if she comes out bossy, that she will try to change and be more of a sister and less of a critic and if younger sister could write to older sister that she does know that her older sister loves her and has done so much for her in this country and that she will try to accept both cultures the best she can, I think peace would eventually come, when they both treat each others as adults and equals.
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