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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 8 year old has a dad who never sees her. And 99% of the time she's absolutely better off without him. Those days I am sure she's feeling loved and safe. My husband has been "daddy" for her since age 2, so she does have a living, stable home. She never asks about him, never mentions his name.

Then there are the two days a year when he feels like she should be a dad and he calls her (her birthday and Christmas). He then promises her he'll start visiting her more, makes plans with her and fills her with hope and ideas. Then when she notices it's all talk and he won't ever follow though, she feels like she's not good enough for him, that she said something wrong or wasn't interesting enough for him to want to come around. He lives 2 hours from us.

I absolutely wish that he wouldn't call. That he wouldn't show up twice a year and break her heart all over again. My husband and I will be here for her each time and help her try to put the pieces back together, but I'm always afraid that each time one more piece gets lost and it becomes more fragile. 
My point is, if he knows he won't be there for her consistently and wholeheartedly, he may be doing her a favor by not trying to be a part of her life. He may be doing this because he is a jerk and doesn't really care, b[b]ut he may just be doing it out of love[/b].[/quote]

No.

I realize you have to come up with something for your daughter, but this isn't it.[/quote]

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