Reply to What happens to extroverted, controlling, bossy little girls down the line?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Bossy isn't at all -- not even close -- to the same thing as being a leader.

It shouldn't matter if it is a girl or a boy, it's important to teach kids the value of empathy and cooperation and team work.

The best bosses I've had (and the most effective) weren't the ones with bossy personalities who thrived on power and control.  They were the ones who understood how to motivate people and foster cooperation.

So I disagree with all of the "She's a future leader!" posters.  If the child truly is bossy (in the negative sense of the word), then she's the future nightmare boss people come on DCUM to complain about.

OP, it sounds like you are hoping teachers and other people will discipline her.  You are the parent.  You don't have to crush her personality.  Praise the good things (the kindness, the inquisitiveness), but work on the negative stuff you see emerging.  Now is the time.  She is still young.

I also will throw something out there.  [b]My experience growing up was that the really bossy kids were the kids who lacked confidence or a strong sense of self b/c their sense of self and confidence hinged on lording over other people.[/b]  The problem is that people assumed because they were bossy, they were confident.  Those things aren't the same thing.  Kids and adults who are truly confident don't feel the need to boss other people around or control things so tightly. [b] That need to boss comes from insecurity.[/b]
  [/quote]

Yes.  And/or anxiety, as I said in the PP.

These two things often go together, but not always.  But by adulthood, they have a way of conflating into one.

My experience in the business world is that most inappropriately bossy and controlling behavior is actually an expression of anxiety.  In some professions (BigLaw?), this even seems to be valued and promoted.  Not explicitly.  But de facto. [/quote]

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