Reply to Husbands with SAHMs that prefer they work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reading this thread makes me feel glad that dh and I have been on board with each other.  [b]The resentment that builds and builds when you are not on the same page is...unhealthy.[/b]  Sorry.  Not sure what other word to use for it.

A marriage is a partnership.  No spouse should be calling all the shots and just quitting their job to SAH w/o the other spouse on board.  No spouse should agree to have their spouse SAH and then start seething with resentment when, after years of shouldering most of the childcare, the at home spouse has an easier time at home and is less employable (Duh, what did you think was going to happen? Sorry).  Ideally - that is how it is supposed to be when the kids get older.

As far as going back to work goes.  Options are limited after a certain number of years away from the workforce. They just are.  You have to decide the pros/cons of the SAH spouse going back to work.  Is the pay off worth the price? 
Are you talking about job retraining (going back to school), taking a minimum wage job, taking on the risk of opening a business of your own?  Weigh the risks/benefits of each choice and go from there. [/quote]

+1 Regardless of arrangement, you need to be on the same page and supportive of each other.  I've been a SAHM -- something both DH and I wanted -- and a WAHM now -- again something we both wanted.  We talked a lot about how we wanted to structure our family and our work over the long term.  I took steps to work freelance to stay connected with my career while I was a SAHM and as a result found my return to work easy.  DH liked my being home as a SAHM and found the adjustment to needing to do more at home a bit challenging but definitely appreciates the extra income now.  Recently the balance has shifted even more as he's mostly WAH and we have kids in MS so he's handling the after school stuff with them.  Life is long, things change, both partners need to be flexible.[/quote]

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