Reply to What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]No, you see nothing, PP, except what you want to believe.  It's also clear you do not understand how any of this works very well.  My ex and I have a 50/50 cooperative joint parenting relationship.  We have vacationed with the kids together.  We spend all major holidays together, as well as the kids' sporting events and school events.  We even eat lunch together more weeks than not. You do not know anything about why we divorced. We have put the kids at the center of everything we have done.  He screwed up once.  I hope that's it.  He's still in therapy and one of the things he is working on is how he let that situation get so out of hand. But if not, I know I have options - whatever options the kids want me to pursue.  They are old enough now that the legal test takes into account their views.  I have done nothing but support him and even helped them buy him very expensive birthday presents - whatever they wanted to get him.  I always tell them how much we both love them and that Daddy and I love each other, we just can't be married to each other (which is true.  He would agree that we both love each other.).  There is nothing for the court to see except a mother trying her hardest to do right by her kids.  My whole point in this is that it is easy for someone new to make out that I am the witchy ex, but the truth is far different.  if OP is stepping into a situation anything like mine, where there are major, major financial commitments and baggage, she should be fully aware of them.  I honestly don't see how it would work until the kids are gone away to college.  And I said so.  Her BF has 50/50 custody.  The way the marriage ended is still fresh for that family and the kids are likely to view her with hostility and suspicion.  That's just natural even when there hasn't been a history like my kids have had.  But, by all means, make me out to be the bad one and tell her it will be all sunshine and roses if you like.[/quote]

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