Reply to I don't want to be a SAHM but feel like I have no other option

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Reply to "I don't want to be a SAHM but feel like I have no other option"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also don't think her mom is being such a jerk.

Unless mom can come and be the "wife" for an extended period, there is absolutely no other advice that makes sense. And with one child, a military salary should support the family, especially once childcare costs are eliminated.

OP says it's impossible for her to change jobs, add time to childcare, take sick leave, outsource more, go part time, move closer to family or other help ... Most military spouses who remain employed throughout their partner's career have military-friendly jobs like healthcare or retail, where there are openings where they go. Or, like me, they drastically scale back to part time.

The military just doesn't give you enough notice or time in one place to make the plans you need to make for major career progress if you also have to be on call to be sole parent at any point in time in a community where you don't have a lot of free support. This is why a lot of spouses are SAHM/Ds when the children are very young. [/quote]

Really depends on the rank. DH was an officer and we got a decent BAH plus officer salary. Enlisted guys got far less.[/quote]

My DH is an officer, but we are paying off some debt, and I have an aversion to changing my lifestyle.  Quitting my job means no more fun money, and since I've always had my own extra money, I'm not sure I can handle no more travel, new clothes, eating out, nice car, etc.

But yes, a lot of this is due to my job.[/quote]

OP, I am not sure if this question has been answered, but what would it be like for you to have a nanny instead of daycare, in terms of cost? Where we live, a nanny is about the same as a good private daycare [not in DC]. And while my DH is not in the military, he does frequently travel overseas and I find that my nanny is the like 'the wife' on weeks he is travelling. I don't have family around, and I have two kids. Can you switch to a nanny? Our nanny does laundry, general picking up, preps meals...when our younger one sleeps (2 hours) she gets a good stretch of time to just devote to house-stuff that really keeps me sane. [/quote]

We had a nanny and had to switch to daycare because it was just killing us.  We also live in an area (not DC) where it's very difficult to find quality childcare.  We interviewed quite a few people, hired one, and she was pretty terrible - fine for an infant, but not for a toddler who needs activities and some sort of structure.  And she was expensive![/quote]

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