Reply to Hate being a woman in the the dating scene

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This seems like more than just the sex. OP stated she never really initiated anything. She waited for the guy to do all the inviting and initiate any (text) conversations. I understand this for the first date, but after 2 or 3 dates, you should at least take initiative and start conversations with him and even invite him to do something. That along with your wishy-washy indecision about having sex made him think you're just not into him. He moved on. I would too (I'm a guy).[/quote]

Op here. Opinions like this are fascinating to me.

So first I did send him a thanks email after the first date, so that was initiated on my part. He's initiated everything else though.

But seriously, the message women get is that we should not make any moves. We should be passive and make him initiate every thing and if he doesn't, that means he doesn't like us and therefore we shouldn't want to go out with him anyway. You're saying sometimes women should initiate things?

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I think you don't like to initiate because initiating is difficult and scary -- not because women "aren't supposed to initiate."

As a guy, I think it would be awesome to be able to just sit back and let opposite sex "chase" me a bit. It's funny how women try to frame what seems like a privilege as a burden.  I honestly suspect that women's belief that they aren't supposed to initiate is really an unconscious post hoc power play to maintain the privilege of not having to take the risk and make the first move.

It's OK to initiate. It doesn't make you a "slut." Just keep it casual and light. There's nothing wrong with being interested in sex. Only macho control freaks have a problem with women showing interest and being in the driver's seat.

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