Reply to IL's in my house during my hospital stay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't consider that type of stuff helpful, either! Controlling and nosy.[/quote]

Does it have to be either/ or?

Why does it have to be controlling or nosy? Can't it just be misguided? I trust those on this board that jump to the "controlling, no boundaries, MIL MUST have NPD" knee jerk response aren't as drama free as they would like to assume about themselves too.

It helps to assume, until given plenty of evidence otherwise, that your DH's family has best intentions. Now if those intentions make you uncomfy, a little chat could help but it doesn't need to be some giant dramatic production. Just let them know you sort of have grown up a different way and its not something you really care for but be thankful that they thought of you in that way to help.[/quote]

I'm sorry but going through another grown up's closets/medicine cabinets, stripping their bed and remaking it is....weird.  You don't go into another person's house and go through their things like that UNLESS you have some serious boundary issues.  To ASSume that people don't care if you go through their things while they are hospitalized is truly bizarre.  No - that is not o.k.  That is an invasion of privacy.  That is an invasion of trust.  And it is completely ridiculous and out of line to do that to a person who is hospitalized and already has enough to worry about.

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It is not weird
As pp said it may be misguided if you do not have that type of close relationship.
I would not give a flying fug if my mom or MIL remade my bed. 
[/quote]

Maybe it's a maturity thing.  Dh and I were in our mid 30's and had been out of our parents' homes and living with each other for a long time when our first was born. We were independent, grown adults.  Our moms were no longer hands on mothering us so if one of them had started to sort through our cabinets/drawers/closets while I was in the hospital that would have been very disrespectful and plain weird of them.  And, no, I would not have been happy with an intrusion like that - AT ALL.

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