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[quote=Anonymous]I don't have a definitive answer (though my proclivity is no), since DD is still too young.  But I can offer you this:

- SIL & BIL spank their kids.  They came to visit, and nephew did something that was both destructive and could be dangerous for him.  He got spanked without any explanation for why from what I saw.  Next day, I see him look both ways (not noticing me) to see if the coast is clear and then proceed to start doing the exact same thing that got him spanked the day before.

- I was not spanked, but I was harshly disciplined verbally.  I also went to a very strict school.  In both cases, I think it was more about consequences than explaining why my behavior was an issue.  For a very long time, I viewed good behavior as whatever I could get away with.

So I guess my take away is that children need to have explained to them why something is "bad" or "wrong" or whatever.  If you're truly doing that adequately and in a way that acknowledges your DC's feelings and in a way they can developmentally understand...then not sure what to say.  I do believe there is a tiny fraction of psychopaths (i.e. some serial killers) in society who cannot empathize around good behavior absent clear and harsh punishment (if then).  I also believe it's highly unlikely your child is one, so if you are going to spank at least do it coupled with verbal explanations of why (and ideally, don't).[/quote]

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