Reply to I can't handle the competition at K

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]From my personal observations I think I know the recipe of how to raise over-achieving kids, but that's not how I'm raising DD: Treat your kids like crap, criticize them and they'll spend an entire life trying to secure approval and praise from others and over-achieve to prove that they're actually good enough. [/quote]

OP, you are sadly mistaken if you think that teaching your child good behavior is "treating them like crap."  On the contrary, you are helping your child get along in the world.

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OP can you elaborate why you don't feel it is important to teach manners?  Manners go beyond yes and no sir.  How about not interrupting, waiting your turn, sharing, holding the door open for someone, helping someone when they drop something or having trouble carrying things, standing up for someone when they are being bullied, speaking up and speaking out when it's right, having empathy, having compassion, saying you're sorry, admitting when you are wrong, looking someone in the eye when speaking to hem, answering a person and acknowledging their presence when spoken to (so many kids don't do this and it's terrible), telling the truth, using a kind voice, words and tone, not rolling your eyes, etc.........

Also just as important is to empower your child, especially a girl.  Teach her if she wants to speak up, do (raise her hand, go to the teacher, etc).  That being shy or being scared of getting in trouble is not an excuse for not saying anything.  I tell my DD I can't always be there, you speak up for you, you can do it, and people will listen.  Whether it's speaking up because she knows the answer in class or whether she is being bullied.

Last year I discovered my DD was in the lowest reading group, and I was crushed.  I couldn't believe it.  We had worked with her at home, my husband and I are both quite intelligent and had done very will in school, and I felt like a failure.  It stung a bit to hear others saying their kids were on chapter books, etc and mine could barely read, at all.  But I came to understand she is going at her own pace, and it's ok.  We support her in and outside the classroom.  She doesn't need to be the number one academic kid in class, but the number one her![/quote]

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