Reply to Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a second grader and a kindergartner. In my experience, about 80% of the time the kids who are held back are held back to give them an edge. I live in an affluent community and so these parents can afford an extra year of preschool and believe that their child will be a “leader” because he (mostly he but sometimes she) will be the oldest. I don’t have a problem with the other 20% who have legitimate reasons to hold back . But when were deciding whether or not to send my summer boy, another mother actually said to me “Don’t you want him to be a leader? You should hold him back.” She did not ask me whether or not he was actually ready. This is the problem with redshirting![/quote]

I have had the exact same experience, but with a girl.  "Why are you sending her, if she waits she'll be one of the oldest and a leader"  My DD has a mid August birthday and seems ready for K emotionally, socially and academically -- especially when compared to other 4 - 5 year olds.  She is a leader in preschool and the neighborhood.  However, when she is in a group of kids who are closer to 5.5-6 she does seem a little younger and we've started to worry a little that it will be hard on her b/c we have found out that there will only be a few other summer birthdays (turning 5 this year) in her class (2) and she will indeed be the youngest- with several who will turn 5 by October 1 -- and at least one child who will turn 6 before she turns 5.

I don't know the older children personally, so there may be a good reason for one or two of them to have waited, but the impression I have gotten from the community is that most times it is to give the kids an "edge".    I guess it is a personal choice, but the deadline has become very arbitrary. I'm really okay with those within a few weeks/month of the deadline making a choice, but when it goes past that I do think in many cases it skews the age of the class.[/quote]

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