Reply to Any moms regret quitting their jobs to stay home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP - I'm the one you quoted in the post above and appreciate you adding additional details to your query.  That's why each and every family needs to make a decision that works best for them and them alone - everyone's preferences, values, financial situations, and the needs of your individual child, etc. vary so widely.

Definitely be thinking about this long-term - what works best for you now, when the kids are in elementary, when the kids are in HS, and after they are gone?  But really none of what you posted sounds like you need to quit.  It sounds like rationalizing what you WANT to do.  And if you want to quit and you don't feel like you'll ever value your work and you are fine with not being able to get back into the workplace, then by all means, go for it.  There are plenty of very happy SAHMs that have posted.

But to your post, here's what I would say if you're truly on the fence - you have a great preschool that you're very happy with.  Your kids are under 5, but not yet in school?  Stick with your current situation until they are in school and then re-evaluate.  What time would you be able to leave work at the earliest?  Do you have the option to be part-time or flex-time?

Yes, kids generally like to do more activities as they get older - I'm a full-time working parent and my kids do do soccer, art, and music class at various times during the year.  Everything is on the weekends or in the evenings.  I don't think that's a good enough reason to quit (again, unless you just really want to).

I'm not sure why you would need a full-time nanny/housekeeper, driver, or a live-in or why one of you couldn't be home in the afternoon even if you both work?  We don't have any of those and no "young kid" is driving our kids around.  I guess it depends on the flexibility of your work schedules and how far your school is and what time it gets out.   And you're only talking about 3:00pm on at the earliest.  Part-time  or flex-time would totally work for you if it was possible.  Again, not a reason in and of itself to totally quit working.

Most days I pick my daughter up from the bus at 4pm and we DO help with homework and have friends over and do classes after school.  On the two or three days a week that I get home later, we maybe don't have a playdate or a class, but I still help with homework and cook dinner, etc.  And I work full-time.  They are not mutually exclusive.

[b]It's hard when they are younger, but now that my oldest is in Kindergarten, I am glad I kept working.  There is a huge swath of day from 8am to 4pm when she's at school - during that time, I work.  At other times, I do all the things you mentioned loving.  To me personally, it seems like the best of both worlds.[/b]

[/quote]

Yes.  My elementary school kids are out of the house from 9-4pm.  That is close to a full workday.  I work at home full-time. DH picks up the slack in the morning or if he has an early meeting I make it up when kids are in be dor on the weekend.  If I had quite 7 years ago when I had my firstborn--there is no way I would have the gig I do now.  I was able to go part-time when they were babies and toddlers and don't feel I missed much at all.

I do think there are some people that can't have the flexibility so need to quit, but I do think (as you stated) there are just as many women that want to justify not wanting to work.  That is fine, but don't turn it into a Mother Theresa-type act against all other working parents.[/quote]

For those moms who are able to be home before 5 p.m., what on earth kind of job do you have? Where do you live and how long is your commute? What time do you leave your house in the morning? I am a SAHM who left the job market in part because working full-time in my position meant a 9-hour work day (8 hours of work plus mandated hour of breaks) plus two to three hours of commuting (depending on which office I was working in at any given time). Given that my husband is gone for 12 hours each day for his job (10.5-hour work days on average plus 1.5 hours of commuting), there is just no way that I would ever see my kids if I worked. Life was a miserable, rushed grind. Not everyone has an employer that is going to allow them to leave at 3 p.m. I have never worked in a place where this would be considered okay.[/quote]

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