Reply to Any moms regret quitting their jobs to stay home?

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Reply to "Any moms regret quitting their jobs to stay home?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm one of the PP posters who did SAH and couldn't stand the housework part of everything.  Unlike you, though, we had to watch our budget when I SAH.  A couple thoughts for you.

1.  In all your posts, you never really give a good reason to stay working.  All your reasoning stems around reasons to SAH.  That's very telling and maybe deep down you really want to SAH but are scared to make that move?  Maybe write a list of reasons to be home FT and reasons to work FT.  It often becomes clear whats right for you when you write things down like this.

2.  I work full time, but like you, my job is not challenging.  The nice thing about my job is I work 7:00 - 3:30 and I live close enough to where I work that I'm home by 4.  That's when the bus comes to our stop.  By working FT, we're able to afford a weekly housekeeper and go back to doing Pea-Pod and sometimes that Harris Teeter on-line/pick up shopping.  That helps.

3.  Also, the older the kids get, the less you'll do after school play dates and more activities.  And there are often parents that like to swap out pick-up drop off for these - especially those with multiple kids.  So, if you're area is similar to mine, even if you're home, that function diminishes.  I found (even being home for the after school activities) that the kids like hanging out with their friends more and doing the carpool thing.  They ask for it (I used to volunteer to do both and stay at practices).  They like the independence and it's good for them navigating social things.

4.  The one thing that makes being home after school good (for our family) was that after school is when they tend to be more talkative and tell you about any problems or things that happened during school.  Before I was able to switch my hours, I would get home at 5 and they wouldn't say much about the day.  Like by then it was over.  THen when I switchhed hours I noticed when they come home they talk more about their day. May be the age, too, I'm not sure - just an observation on my part.

5.  Also, you mention wanting to do playdates/snacks after school.  Again, it won't always be at your house and people will want to switch on and off with you.  It would become odd if you always insisted it's at your house (we have someone in our neighborhood like that and it's become too weird now since she ALWAYS insists the playdates be at her house).  So, even if you set up regular play dates, there will be days of the week your kid will go to someone else's house after school and you'll have free time on your hands.

6.  Oh, another problem we had WOH - in Virginia (not sure if it's all over) there's one day per week where school lets out a half day.  Since we work FT, we had to find child care for that day - we ended up paying a SAHM who has a kid the same age as ours to take them for the afternoon and it's worked out nice, but if you decide to work, it'll probably be something you'll have to figure out.

Like others have said there are plusses and minuses to each scenario, so you really just have to decide what's best for you and your family and do it - and ignore all these posters that claim their way is best and the other side is awful (it gets hurtful and even though I've done both, as a WOHM now I still hear some of the SAHM posters' arguments and get a twinge of guilt - and I get to be home with them when they get out of school.  Oh I think as they get older, school lets out earlier, so that might play a factor in the long run too.)

Good luck with your decision.  [/quote]

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