Reply to Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow..lol!  I love DCUM but these responses confirm that my AA son should not date or marry a white woman.

The level of self righteousness from some members of the white majority is dangerous for him.   But don't worry, when your daughter comes after my son, and she will,[b] I hope to have educated him on this matter [/b]and it will be a non-issue because he won't be interested.  
[/quote]

You hope to have taught your son that all members of a certain race share certain characteristics and faults? Seems to me there's a word for that... [/quote]

Not the pp (but I am a black Mom). I hope to educate my son and teach him the value of black women. I hope I am an example to him about all that is beautiful, strong and wonderful about black women. I hope that he understands that a successful black man is a great thing to be and it's even better when you find a black woman who is your equal.

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But what if your son falls in love with a white woman?  The poster who said that black men who marry/date white women have low self esteem has it wrong.  These posts make clear it's the black women who have low self esteem and take it personally when black men (especially their sons) fall in love with women who aren't exactly like them.  I didn't marry a man exactly like my father -- that does not mean I don't love and respect my father.   Get a grip.[/quote]

I will answer your question, but realize that telling me to "get a grip" does nothing to further the conversation and only serves to piss me off. Why the need to even go there?

If my son fails in love with a white woman, it will be as I said. I will be deeply disappointed. I wouldn't express it to him (or her), but I would be. That's reality and it won't change to make you comfortable.

It's clear that you are white and, as such, don't really have much "insider" knowledge to know what we are talking about when it comes to the mindset of some black men who marry white women. It's possible that you may not even see it, but I usually can guess whether a black man has a white wife without even knowing beforehand. [/quote]

I am white.  I also was once in a relationship with a black man who feared his mother who, I'm guessing, was much like you.  He remained in a loveless, sexless marriage with his black wife so as not to disappoint his mother.  I wasn't in love with him, so it didn't matter much to me, but it was truly sad to see this man worried about disappointing his mother.  If you feel comfortable knowing that could be your son's future, then that's something I just won't ever understand.

And, by the way, I wonder what you would "know" beforehand about this man.  On the outside, he's what it sounds like you hope your son will be -- successful, handsome, and married to a strong, successful black woman.  Yet, it's a white woman he really wants to be with...  Can you ID those types of black guys too?[/quote]

Your story sounds a bit far-fetched and while I love my son and know that he respects me, I doubt he'll sacrifice his happiness for me (as it should be). As I said before, I have not shared my feelings with him, so he doesn't have any fear of me on this score.

Not really sure about this black guy you're talking about. Forcing himself to be with a black woman when deep down he wants a white woman (I guess any white woman will do?). He sounds emasculated. So in some ways, yes, he fits the profile. [/quote]

No, not any white woman -- he wanted a specific white woman.  He is not emasculated -- many women (black, white, etc.) would want this guy, I promise you that.  My point, really, is that you can't generalize.  Not all white women are the same.  Not all black men are the same.  And I don't think all black women are the same because I have to believe there are some out there who don't share your beliefs.  BTW, this guy's mother never shared her feelings directly either; but he knew that she would be seriously disappointed if he chose to be w/ a white woman.  So even if you don't say it to your son, he's likely smart enough to figure it out.  [/quote]

If he's not man enough to stand up to his mother for the woman he loves, he's not manly. [/quote]

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