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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand why 50/50 on assets plus child support isn’t what you should expect.  Alimony is an injustice to any person.   The marriage is over, but then financially everyone pretends like it isn’t?   [/quote]

Except that one spouse is forced to absorb all the downside of supporting and sacrificing for the other’s career opportunities while the other harvests all the upside. You can’t make it be over unless you have a magical time machine that resets the spouse’s age and opportunities to where they were before they had to stop working. Alimony recognizes the impossibility of that.[/quote]

How does Dad get compensated for the time and relationship he gave up with his children?  I think of my own DH who did give up career opportunities when our kids were young to coach their sports teams by limiting travel and work dinners. He had to manage his schedule to do take on his share of pick ups/drop offs/ doc appts. All of this has made him an equal parent to me and the kids turn to both of us when they need stuff as college kids. I think he would have lost a lot if he didn’t put in the work to build this relationship with them (which didn’t actually come naturally to him). I am not unsympathetic to the argument that women who stayed home gave up opportunities for the family and should be acknowledged in a divorce. But how do you calculate the effect on the other spouse?  [/quote]

I’ve got a fun answer to this one. Another case where jurisdiction matters so it may be different elsewhere. Note that I am still in deep litigation over it and I pray for a different outcome than what I’m facing. Depending on states and judicial discretion a judge will happily award full or majority custody to one of these dads to allow them to “repair their bond” or “build their relationship” with the kids they had no desire to be around for a decade or more. It doesn’t matter if that dad isn’t home to be with the kids; a third party caregiver is allowed because “different parenting styles.”

I’m not in a state where kids who are 12, 13 or 14 have a say in things and so a parent can force them to adhere to whatever parenting plan they get approved until the day that kid is 18.

So yeah, a SAHM can literally be left with no career and with a very tiny sliver of custody of her children.

If you can’t be a SMBC a post-nup is probably a good idea.[/quote]

Many dads are heavily involved but custody should be shared.  Let them have custody and they can figure it out.   Most families use day care, babysitters, nanny or other help so how is divorce different.  [/quote]

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