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[quote=Anonymous]I asked my kid-- a girl, 18, college freshman-- what SHE thought made her a great kid. She's been hearing it her whole life, so she has to have thought about it, right?

She said: 
1. Expectations. Many of her peers had none, and therefore nothing to live up to. We were clear that good grades were expected, there were consistent consequences for missing the mark, and we were generous with any support needed to achieve the goal. 
2. Modeled kindness and empathy. She remembered a time when she was little when I helped a kid get up when he had fallen, even though it wasn't my kid. Such a small thing, right? I don't remember it. But she did. And she remembered that other adults ignored him, and kids laughed at him.  
3. Daily family meals, and frequent dinner parties, where manners were taught and practiced, and participation was expected. She thinks this gave her the ability to talk to adults that her peers didn't necessarily get. 
4. Being made to finish what she started, with the encouragement and support to get through to the payoff, when quitting would have been easier for everyone. (Maybe especially for me, but the rush of, say, earning a team captain spot was absolutely personality-defining for her.)  
5. Many, many explanations. Just one example: She said her peers in college have no understanding of personal financial responsibility. But whenever I said no to something she wanted to buy, I told her why. I explained how much money comes in, how much goes out and for what, and why we save instead of spending it all. When we took a big vacation, she was included in the planning, from starting the savings for it, to choosing the destination and accommodations and activities, to what kinds of souvenirs we bought while there. 
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