Oink

I asked my kid-- a girl, 18, college freshman-- what SHE thought made her a great kid. She's been hearing it her whole life, so she has to have thought about it, right?

She said:
1. Expectations. Many of her peers had none, and therefore nothing to live up to. We were clear that good grades were expected, there were consistent consequences for missing the mark, and we were generous with any support needed to achieve the goal.
2. Modeled kindness and empathy. She remembered a time when she was little when I helped a kid get up when he had fallen, even though it wasn't my kid. Such a small thing, right? I don't remember it. But she did. And she remembered that other adults ignored him, and kids laughed at him.
3. Daily family meals, and frequent dinner parties, where manners were taught and practiced, and participation was expected. She thinks this gave her the ability to talk to adults that her peers didn't necessarily get.
4. Being made to finish what she started, with the encouragement and support to get through to the payoff, when quitting would have been easier for everyone. (Maybe especially for me, but the rush of, say, earning a team captain spot was absolutely personality-defining for her.)
5. Many, many explanations. Just one example: She said her peers in college have no understanding of personal financial responsibility. But whenever I said no to something she wanted to buy, I told her why. I explained how much money comes in, how much goes out and for what, and why we save instead of spending it all. When we took a big vacation, she was included in the planning, from starting the savings for it, to choosing the destination and accommodations and activities, to what kinds of souvenirs we bought while there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I literally just wrote that having a father and husband who are both smart and kind is what makes my children great.

DH and I are both good looking and smart. We met when we were attending top grad schools and made three great kids. DH also earns a lot of money so that probably helps.

Do you realize how stupid you sound

This thread literally asked about having great kids. I have 3 great kids.

I didn’t want to just say DH and I met when we were at HYP.

And now you spend your waking hours trolling this forum.,amen

I’m not a troll. You are the one calling me names.

I said my father and husband are smart AND kind. Having a dad with good morals helps in having great kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I literally just wrote that having a father and husband who are both smart and kind is what makes my children great.

DH and I are both good looking and smart. We met when we were attending top grad schools and made three great kids. DH also earns a lot of money so that probably helps.

Do you realize how stupid you sound

This thread literally asked about having great kids. I have 3 great kids.

I didn’t want to just say DH and I met when we were at HYP.

And now you spend your waking hours trolling this forum.,amen

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I literally just wrote that having a father and husband who are both smart and kind is what makes my children great.

DH and I are both good looking and smart. We met when we were attending top grad schools and made three great kids. DH also earns a lot of money so that probably helps.

Do you realize how stupid you sound

This thread literally asked about having great kids. I have 3 great kids.

I didn’t want to just say DH and I met when we were at HYP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I literally just wrote that having a father and husband who are both smart and kind is what makes my children great.

DH and I are both good looking and smart. We met when we were attending top grad schools and made three great kids. DH also earns a lot of money so that probably helps.

Do you realize how stupid you sound

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I literally just wrote that having a father and husband who are both smart and kind is what makes my children great.

DH and I are both good looking and smart. We met when we were attending top grad schools and made three great kids. DH also earns a lot of money so that probably helps.

Anonymous wrote:I saw the title of this post and thought it applied to me, but then I saw the entry that said something like 99% of 9 year olds are great kids (mine are both under 10) and I realized that my sentiments are a bit premature!

I don't agree with that stat, but maybe that PP was exaggerating? It really starts to turn at age 8 that kids start crossing over into not so great territory and it's way more than 1% of them. Even in kindergarten, there's definitely more than 1% that's pretty disturbed/problematic/violent/unstable/whatever.

I saw the title of this post and thought it applied to me, but then I saw the entry that said something like 99% of 9 year olds are great kids (mine are both under 10) and I realized that my sentiments are a bit premature!

Our son is a great kid. He is easy. Born that way. We do only have one living child though.

We are good parents and we both came from hood parents. I still sometimes wish things were different and if we had another if they would be as easy, smart, kind, joyful, and blessed athletically and in appearance.

We do expose him to things and model and lovingly correct behavior. A lot of parents do not discipline or pay attention. We never did time outs. Try not to yell, and always explain why we expect something or why a behavior is not appropriate. So much is personality. Can’t control that!

Anonymous wrote:I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.

If you are the OP of the mean girl thread, you do not come across as nice in that thread at all. You are also weirdly obsessed with kids' looks (yours and, in the other thread, your DD's friends).

I just posted about girls being mean.

I have 3 kids and feel lucky to be blessed with such great kids. They are smart, good looking and athletic. I always encourage kindness and tell them how important it is for them to be nice people.

I come from a religious family. My dad is the most moral person and was exceptionally smart. I married a guy who was also smart and kind. DH is the type of guy who is good at everything. He is also trustworthy and loyal and that has worked well for him professionally.