Reply to BF said choose marriage or a career

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "BF said choose marriage or a career "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are YOU ready to marry him and start a family immediately? Or will you always resent him if you don't take this opportunity? I bet deep down, you already know. This is a gut decision.

I don't think there's a right or wrong, just be true to yourself and where you are in your life right now. [/quote]

Marry - yes. Kids - not immediately but in the next 2-3 years. That’s our timeline that we discussed. We would start trying 1-2 years after being married.

I love him more than my job.[b] I just wish I had both and he wasn’t willing to end our relationship over this[/b]. I know my career will be okay but [b]I do worry my career will take a backseat to his once I have kids.[/b] [/quote]

You can't have it all. I don't care what anyone says. Having  him wait that long is not fair to him or you. What happens if a year and half in you meet some great guy where you moved and break up with him? You do need to choose. [/quote]

The red flag is that he is willing to break up over this. Yes, you can have it all.  Yes, you can change gears in your career as a woman, sometimes choosing career, sometimes choosing kids, sometimes choosing proximity.  The fact is that the man in this relationship is very inflexible.  [/quote]

I would break up over this in a heartbeat if I weren’t married. I want a relationship with someone who values a stable, simple life. If my husband suddenly told me he’d been chosen for a role in Seattle, see you on Saturdays, I’d take him in for a lobotomy. That is NOT the life we planned together. If it had happened while we were engaged or almost engaged? Bye. That’s nuts.

Different than years of planning career advancements that benefited our marriage.

Different than him saying, “my goal is xyz, can we talk through how I can get there in a way that works for us?”

Different than him saying, “my job is on the line, I can either take this temporarily until I can find something back home or I can risk unemployment for a bit, let’s talk through which is better.”

But “hey i just found out I got this role far away for 2 years and it’s really cool!” Would be met with “what the actual F?” It’s not a red flag to not want 2 years of distance that you had no idea was of interest to your future spouse.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics