Reply to If you "tiger mom'd" your kids, how did they turn out in college (and beyond)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the OP of this thread:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1207813.page

I was tiger parented obsessively. Two years ago, I graduated with honors from an Ivy with a job offer in hand at MBB.

Fast forward to six months ago: I'm fired for my job for underperforming, I feel lonely and isolated, and I have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my future because I have little sense of self.

THIS is what tiger parenting really does to kids. It takes children (some of whom might have sensitive temperments like myself) and uses their achievements to feed a parent's narcissistic ego.

I have a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, which features a lack of identity and an unstable sense of self at its core. I attribute this to my parents dictating everything for me and prohibiting me from truly exploring to really find myself. They focused relentlessly on prestige and money, and now I feel chronically empty and suicidal as a result. [/quote]

You are an adult.  Stop blaming your parents. [b] If they backed off you wouldn't have gotten as far as you did. [/b] Get mental health treatment.[/quote]

PP here. Nope. Not at all.

Sure, if my parents backed off, I wouldn't have gotten into an Ivy or a job at MBB. I'd be making a lot less. But I would have a much stronger sense of self and be much more self-assured in my identity. And THAT is what takes people far in the long run -- not prestige, not a McKinsey job, not a Harvard diploma. A no-name state grad with a first job out of college that pays $50k/year but who had a secure, affectionate childhood (and resultingly, a strong sense of self and a cohesive identity) is really what takes someone far. [/quote]

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