Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

[/quote]

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different...  They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture.  No cutting board or chef knife is available.  [/quote]

Pictures attached. OP here.

https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc[/quote]

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?[/quote]

China is 5x wealthier than India

But I can’t figure out where in India this is from - must be the north?

It’s pretty impressive for someone to come from such a poor background and end up bagging a “top tier larla”

[/quote]

She's in Faridpur Bangladesh, not India. Probably comparable to India though in some ways India has become more commercialized than Bangladesh - little things like being able to get Oreos and potato chips in every village, pizza even in small towns/cities etc.[/quote]

Op here we can get chips and Oreos here but that's not super important for us. I went to one of the nicest restaurants called Serene Garden and they had good coffee. It's supposed to be the nicest restaurant they have but the sofa cushions were so dirty. Dh's family doesn't like going there. It's cultural. Some of the things that would be fun in the US I am being advised not to do like going out to restaurants. Dh family seems middle class. They have hired help. His nephew has a private tutor but the middle class in the US and Bangladesh look different. They also prioritize things differently. Most of their vegetables and fruits are homegrown. They have their chickens. I hear a rooster now. I don't think everyone strives to have an American lifestyle. If they got a washer and dryer for example where would it go? How would they power it? The electricity gets cut every evening for a hour by the government. It's not always a matter of having they money to buy something. They need space and also the house may not be able to sustain so much electricity. My small mini pancake maker broke the fuse. If they wanted any of these things I'm sure DH would happily purchase them. He used to send money home even when he was in grad school making a meager salary. I think that they are happy with their lifestyle. [/quote]

Right - they sound middle class with their hired help and tutoring and I'd venture to guess nephew goes to private school. OP this is just how it is in other parts of the world. This isn't as dire as you made it sound. I mean if you think this is bad, have DH/his family drive you through an actual village, you will be utterly shocked. Do you spend a ton of time on DCUM where people whine that making $600k/yr and living in Bethesda is a hand to mouth struggle and they'll never retire bc at age 40 they only have $4 mil in the 401k? In other parts of the world - this IS middle class. And yes infrastructure tends to suck so it's easier to have your cleaning lady do your wash by hand than to install a washer/dryer which will short out a thousand times bc the power and water infrastructure isn't there.

I'd try to relax and enjoy it a bit esp since it seems like his family likes you. Eat some of the homecooked food, chat it up with his family about life there, ask them to take you out and show you around just a bit.

And maybe start watching 90 Day Fiance when you get back here - you'll see for real how it is in poorer nations whether Asia or Africa or whatever. I don't think you understand how "easy" you have it being there in a middle class home vs. what it COULD have been if DH was truly from a village where you'd be sleeping on a mat on the floor and getting 1 roti per day, forget your pizza.[/quote]

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