Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my SIL who insists on all organic for her, but her kids only eat chicken nuggets and a few other things. And this is in Peru which has the best food in the world IMO. I’m not from there but have visited many times.

I’ve done very rustic, but not for a month. That is indeed a long time. Why not bring a cutting board with you next time and a few other cooking implements? And buy a knife there. Or learn to use the “sword”. Does your husband think his family will be insulted if you bring stuff like that? That is so weird insisting on 2 suitcases for 4 for a month.

Op here. I have no idea. I'm exhausted from trying to figure it all out he didn't want me to bring pancake mix and a mini pancake mixer but I brought it anyway. Dh doesn't cook so it's all on me. He doesn't eat roti or a lot of Bengali food in the US. We eat a lot of South American food as we lived in Miami and we had hired help. A Peruvian lady would cook for us a few times a week and she taught me how to cook their dishes. We like food that's not as spicy as Bengali food but not as bland as American food. We went to Turkey and loved the food.

Anonymous wrote:Are Bangladeshis mostly Bengali?

Not that OP would eat it, nor am I advising it but Bengalis are known for amazing desserts and also great fish. Fish curry and rice should be like the daily meal - and it's all cooked all the way through to the point that the fish falls right apart so I don't imagine it's unsafe. Hopefully DH is enjoying some of those foods from back home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key is to appear successful enough that your parents can brag about you to their friends but not so successful that it appears you have the means to support all the family members in their country.

That's the key according to my relative from Thailand.

Op here. He has told me a billion times not to speak about owning a house. Here they don't get mortgages so if we tell them we bought a house they will think we bought it in cash. Dh works for a big pharm company as a researcher and I am a social worker in a hospital in the US.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't visit my husband's family until 5 years after we married in the US. They came here for the wedding. It was a cultural shock that my husband didn't prepare me for AT ALL. We arrived, and I had no idea I wouldn't have access to running shower water that's warm/ hot. I had to take bucket showers by combining boiled water with cold water. We stayed for a month so it's a huge pain. Hygiene is relaxed....... I rarely see anyone washing their hands with soap.. they use water... I can't prepare my own food here because it's way more complicated. There aren't washers and dryers, and kids get their clothes dirty frequently. DH also made a big deal about only taking TWO luggage for 4 people. I can't go anywhere alone because I don't speak the language and it would be very easy to get lost and not know how to find his family's house. They don't have AC or heaters, and we visit in the winter... there are openings in the door and windows to let in fresh air so it's always cold in the winter... feels like I am semi- camping... this is mainly a vent post... i probably sound like a snob, but it's so hard living like this for a month... dh is also annoying because he doesn't like going out when we are here due to traffic, but we are bored and HUNGRY.. eating boxed food i.e. noddles, pancakes get old after a week... the closest grocery store that has ready food i.e. chicken nuggets and stuff like that is 3 hours away.. I told DH I wanted to go to this store (similar to a western supermarket) when we were coming from the airport, and he kept saying they have grocery stores closer to his house... guess what? We went, and they don't have anything our kids will eat. I already knew this would happen because this isn't our first trip. I don't want to come across as entitled, but we are from a totally different background and need to feel comfortable and have food options.. it feels like he's going out of his way to not make us feel comfortable .... he's also making it a big deal we want to go out for clothes shopping. he's such a PITA

These two statements seem contradictory.

Those things are separate. 5 years ago it was a shock. You also forget stuff in 5 years. Even immigrants who grew up in the US say they experience cultural shock. Bangladesh is extremely poor and overwhelming. His family doesn't know how I feel. We get along well. This was a vent post. Being in survival mode on vacation isn't pleasant. One of our kids also has asthma and it's getting worse here. On the last trip, I was hospitalized in the US for 11 days. The country has developed a lot in 5 years but Dh's family said it would take 30 years to be like the US and they were not joking. We love visiting Dhaka and want to travel there more. My kids love the rickshaws and auto cars. I have never traveled to India but I think it is light years ahead of Bangladesh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

China is 5x wealthier than India

But I can’t figure out where in India this is from - must be the north?

It’s pretty impressive for someone to come from such a poor background and end up bagging a “top tier larla”

She's in Faridpur Bangladesh, not India. Probably comparable to India though in some ways India has become more commercialized than Bangladesh - little things like being able to get Oreos and potato chips in every village, pizza even in small towns/cities etc.

Op here we can get chips and Oreos here but that's not super important for us. I went to one of the nicest restaurants called Serene Garden and they had good coffee. It's supposed to be the nicest restaurant they have but the sofa cushions were so dirty. Dh's family doesn't like going there. It's cultural. Some of the things that would be fun in the US I am being advised not to do like going out to restaurants. Dh family seems middle class. They have hired help. His nephew has a private tutor but the middle class in the US and Bangladesh look different. They also prioritize things differently. Most of their vegetables and fruits are homegrown. They have their chickens. I hear a rooster now. I don't think everyone strives to have an American lifestyle. If they got a washer and dryer for example where would it go? How would they power it? The electricity gets cut every evening for a hour by the government. It's not always a matter of having they money to buy something. They need space and also the house may not be able to sustain so much electricity. My small mini pancake maker broke the fuse. If they wanted any of these things I'm sure DH would happily purchase them. He used to send money home even when he was in grad school making a meager salary. I think that they are happy with their lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll! Look at the time stamp when OP posts. Bangladesh is 11 hours ahead of here. So there is no way she would be posting here in the wee hours of the morning while in Bangladesh.

Anonymous wrote:The key is to appear successful enough that your parents can brag about you to their friends but not so successful that it appears you have the means to support all the family members in their country.

That's the key according to my relative from Thailand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

China is 5x wealthier than India

But I can’t figure out where in India this is from - must be the north?

It’s pretty impressive for someone to come from such a poor background and end up bagging a “top tier larla”

She's in Faridpur Bangladesh, not India. Probably comparable to India though in some ways India has become more commercialized than Bangladesh - little things like being able to get Oreos and potato chips in every village, pizza even in small towns/cities etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

China is 5x wealthier than India

But I can’t figure out where in India this is from - must be the north?

It’s pretty impressive for someone to come from such a poor background and end up bagging a “top tier larla”

She's in Faridpur Bangladesh, not India. Probably comparable to India though in some ways India has become more commercialized than Bangladesh - little things like being able to get Oreos and potato chips in every village, pizza even in small towns/cities etc.

Ah ok - never been. My parents are from madras so anything north of Bangalore seems alien to me even when people dump on India, I’m always like “this is not the India I know” - poverty in the south just is expressed differently I think

Yeah India is super odd that even the most rural areas in India will have terrible infrastructure and water but will have pizza, Oreos, chips, pretty much all American junk food and high speed mobile internet

Toxic combo imo

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

I assume this is OP sock puppeting. OP - you and your DH have now arrived with US $$$ in hand. Feel free to upgrade your ILs kitchen. They have everything in Bangladesh. You can have cabinets installed with countertops, they sell gas stoves that will then go on the countertop.

But yeah I've definitely been in Thailand and India in smaller towns - cooking on the floor is still the norm.

And why would you be writing or eating on the ground? Do you think they don't have sofas and dining room tables and chairs in those kinds of countries? I'm fairly certain OP has her ass parked on her ILs sofa using their wifi to complain to DCUM.

Op here. They have a small gas stove and all the other usual things I.e. table, sofa etc. My sister-in-law who does almost all of the cooking pewter to do it outside since the kitchen is so small and gets smoky. The gas and smoke are much worse here compared to the US.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

China is 5x wealthier than India

But I can’t figure out where in India this is from - must be the north?

It’s pretty impressive for someone to come from such a poor background and end up bagging a “top tier larla”

She's in Faridpur Bangladesh, not India. Probably comparable to India though in some ways India has become more commercialized than Bangladesh - little things like being able to get Oreos and potato chips in every village, pizza even in small towns/cities etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

I assume this is OP sock puppeting. OP - you and your DH have now arrived with US $$$ in hand. Feel free to upgrade your ILs kitchen. They have everything in Bangladesh. You can have cabinets installed with countertops, they sell gas stoves that will then go on the countertop.

But yeah I've definitely been in Thailand and India in smaller towns - cooking on the floor is still the norm.

And why would you be writing or eating on the ground? Do you think they don't have sofas and dining room tables and chairs in those kinds of countries? I'm fairly certain OP has her ass parked on her ILs sofa using their wifi to complain to DCUM.