Reply to In-laws are broke, DH has offered to help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The financial gift my parents gave me was breaking the cycle.  They are the sandwich generation in our family.  They both grew up lower middle class and were completely on their own at 18.  Still, they managed to pay for my siblings and me to go to college and professional/grad school, they supported each of their parents for a long time, and they have their own retirement adequately funded.  I am very aware of the hard work and sacrifices they made to set up my generation for an easier life, and I’ve modeled my own life after them and saved aggressively for my retirement and the kids’ college.

I also can also relate to OP because DH is sandwiched in his family to provide for his parents, save for his own retirement and (help me) provide for our kids. It is a HUGE source of contention.  I have to battle him over how to prioritize spending/saving MY income (him asking me to save less for the kids’ college or retirement, effectively so he can give more to his parents).   It’s just terrible to ask/expect your children to provide for you in your old age as it affects them, their spouse and their children.

There is not an easy answer, but if OP works, then just carveout savings for things like a house down payment, college and retirement, and figure out how to make the rest work net of those priorities.  
[/quote]

You just said your parents were sandwiched caring for their parents and you and your siblings. Yet you can’t understand your Dh wants to help his parents.

This is not an uncommon marital disagreement. Dh and I don’t argue about it but I have multiple friends who do. [/quote]

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